IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is a kind of situation in the US, in which the authorities implanted a rule to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not let youngsters out of their homes after a certain time at night.There are multiple causes of
this
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 curfew
such
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 as a rapid increase in illegal activities and motor vehicle accident rates. Let us delve deeper into these given schools of thought in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are certain reasons for
this
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 situation. First and foremost, the US government noted a sudden increase in the crime rates with the involvement of teenagers. To elaborate, young individuals are part of some criminal activities
such
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 as the use of narcotic drugs
as well as
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 the consumption of alcohol.
For instance
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, research conducted by the United States demonstrates that roughly 40-45% of crime cases have participants
of
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apply
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below 18 years people in the
last
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 three years.
In addition
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,
apart from
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this
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 another cause of
this
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 isolation trend is Motor vehicle accidents. To exemplify, many young kids are driving extremely rough and fast
as a result
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 the rates of
this
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 kind of incident
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 increased drastically.
For example
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, I read an article
last
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 week on
the
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social media, which mentioned that there was a big clash
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
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 in the US
due to
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 careless driving of young kids at night.
To conclude
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, it can be eventually commented that children and teenagers are the present and future of any nation.
However
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, to minimize some issues it is important to implant
such
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 a situation as isolation for youngsters. In order to reduce motor accidents and criminal activities.

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coherence cohesion
Strive for a clearer structure to ensure logical flow of ideas. Using transitional phrases can help link ideas more effectively.
task achievement
While the essay provides reasons and examples, ensure all points are fully explored to enhance comprehensive ideas.
introduction conclusion
The essay adequately introduces the topic and presents reasons for teenage curfews.
task achievement
Relevant examples are included which strengthen the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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