Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both vews and give your own opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance #vews

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There is no denying the fact that achieving success requires several factors.

While

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it is held belief that hard work and determination lead to

certian

Correct your spelling

certain

success, there is

also

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an argument that money and appearance play a significant role

also

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This

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essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, achieving success in life could be accomplished when the individual

stuck

Wrong verb form

sticks

show examples

oneself

Correct pronoun usage

his

show examples

plans and

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this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

allocate

Correct subject-verb agreement

allocates

show examples

determination and dedication

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

this

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journy

Correct your spelling

journey

will face various obstacles that may damage all the individual's effort which could be tough to

be handled

Wrong verb form

handle

show examples

In other words

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, the path

Change preposition

show examples

succeed

Replace the word

success

show examples

will be

srrounded

Correct your spelling

surrounded

with

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show examples

difficulties that will try to crack your determination and decrease your faith.

Therefore

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, being successful

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

consistant

Correct your spelling

consistency

and

willing

Replace the word

willingness

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to work through any situation.

For instance

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athlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

cannot achieve their goals

such

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win

Wrong verb form

winning

show examples

compition

Correct your spelling

competition

with out

Correct your spelling

without

show examples

hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

and

constant

Add a missing verb

being constant

show examples

on their training schedules.

On the other hand

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, spending money and

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a representable appearance could be beneficial to increase your chances in life in general, but it will be extremely substantial to win in your life, and

this

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can be seen in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wealthy

families

Fix the agreement mistake

family

show examples

members who do not have to study hard or working extra hours to prove their abilities. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that

although

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both money and good appearance play a crucial role

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dedication and commitment are the

key

Change the noun form

keys

show examples

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

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your dreams.

Submitted by omaymah on Wed Jan 22 2025

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development

Include more specific examples to support your points, especially for the argument about money and appearance.

language

Be careful with minor language inaccuracies, e.g. 'stuck to oneself plans' should be 'stuck to one's plans'.

language

Ensure clarity by reviewing complex sentences for grammatical accuracy.

task response

The essay addresses both views as mentioned in the task and provides a personal opinion.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

252 words

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both vews and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

There are an increasing number of serious crime committed each year. while some people say the best way would be to use the death penalty as deterrent, many people say that other measures will be needed. discuss both views and give opinoin.

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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

n some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?