IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jam #measures #governments #people #cars
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Nowadays, through the
last
Linking Words
 three decades, the percentage of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have cars
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
rose
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
 sharply in many places around the world. So, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss the
cause
Use synonyms
 of increasing car ownership and what
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 will
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
for reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several reasons why
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 like to own cars. The fee class help us to move between places in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, means of transportation affect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and
cause
Use synonyms
 a lot of problems and
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
، especially
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
 the climate.
For example
Linking Words
, the smoke that comes out from those machines
Use synonyms
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 global warming, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 many problems in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and our fresh air.
Also
Linking Words
, when all
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 use
vechical
Correct your spelling
vehicle
, they will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend more
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the way because of the traffic and
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of cars on the way. So,
this
Linking Words
 will
be make
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them lose their
time
Use synonyms
.  On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, the government should create laws and rules system to solve those problems.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the country
build
Change the verb form
builds
show examples
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 moving.
For instance
Linking Words
, build the train stations to make people move quickly and
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 authority,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
plan
Add an article
a plan
the plan
show examples
 to fix the roads and add
an extra ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
extra ways
an extra way
show examples
 to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 traffic. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are arguments
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 having many machines that can
be harm
Change the verb form
harm
show examples
 our
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 and climate, I firmly believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 plan and create solutions to deal with these cases to avoid serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in future.
Submitted by emeya98 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially when suggesting solutions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear and focused idea, with logical progression between them.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, offering a complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
Addresses the topic by discussing causes and suggesting governmental measures.
task achievement
Attempts to address environmental implications of increased car ownership.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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