Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, lots of
people
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are
tought
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taught
thought
to see all the stages of their lives as
a
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apply
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rival
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rivals
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with other
people
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.
While
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,
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apply
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Other
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Others
show examples
are brought up to see it as a system that functions well when all parts work with each other. But which quality is better for each person to gain? In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
show examples
will discuss both views and give my own opinion. A growing number of
people
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believe that
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sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of competition is an important part of a
child
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child's
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or an
adult
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adult's
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attitude. They claim that by developing
this
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sense
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,
people
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are automatically encouraged to make more effort
for
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to
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reach whatever
thay
Correct your spelling
they
want.
This
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is
becuase
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because
they always have the desire to be the best and the winner.
As a result
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,
this
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kind of
students
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student
show examples
tend
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tends
show examples
to be more successful in finding
their
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a
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suitable job in the competitive area of hiring.
On the other hand
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, there is a second group
how
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who
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think
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thinks
show examples
that
people
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should learn
coopration
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cooperation
skills from
there
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their
show examples
childhood and afterwards. They claim that
,
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apply
show examples
nurturing
this
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cognative
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cognitive
skill, activates their
sense
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of sympathy and
make
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makes
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them more
pationate
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passionate
to help
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about helping
show examples
the
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apply
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society.
That is
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to say, these
type
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types
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of
people
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have the ability to make
a sustainable relationships
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a sustainable relationship
sustainable relationships
show examples
due to
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their skills in
cooprating
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cooperating
cooperation
and helping.
Consequantely
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Consequently
, in
their
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the
show examples
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
these
people
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will function well in work
reas
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areas
which
needs
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need
show examples
high
leves
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levels
level
of teamwork.
To sum up
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, both
sense
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of rivalry and
cooprating
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cooperating
cooperation
are
an
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apply
show examples
essencial
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essential
qualities which each individual needs to have.
However
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,
i
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I
show examples
believe that learning how to work
good
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well
show examples
as a team and help others is more basic than learning how to compete.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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task response
Avoid repetitive phrasing such as 'in this essay I will discuss' as it's generally discouraged in formal essay writing.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, this will enhance the depth and reliability of your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on eliminating small grammatical errors like 'are tought' (taught) or 'becuase' (because) to improve clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
The essay successfully addresses both viewpoints and offers a personal opinion in the conclusion, which is well-structured.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are well organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in maintaining the reader's interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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