IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Million of dollar are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#million #dollar #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
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Every year, millions of dollars are spent on
space
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research
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, and some
people
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 argue that
this
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 money should be used to improve living standards on
Earth
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. I partly agree with
this
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 opinion because
both
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space
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research
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 and improving life on
Earth
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 are important. On one hand, it is true that many
people
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 around the world live in poverty and face difficult conditions. The money spent on
space
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research
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 could be used to build better schools,
hospitals
Correct word choice
and hospitals
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, and provide clean water and food. These things are necessary for
people
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 to live better lives. In some areas,
people
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 lack basic needs, and helping them should be a priority.
On the other hand
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,
space
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research
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also
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 brings important benefits. Discoveries made in
space
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 help improve
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
 that we use on
Earth
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.
For example
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, satellites help with weather forecasting, communication, and navigation.
In addition
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,
space
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research
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 has led to new materials and medical technologies that have improved lives. Investing in
space
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research
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 can lead to advancements that help
both
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 current and future generations. In conclusion,
while
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 it is important to use money to improve living standards on
Earth
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,
space
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research
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also
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 has many advantages. We should try to find a balance and ensure that we are helping
people
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while
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also
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 investing in the future of our planet.
Both
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 areas are important, and
both
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 deserve attention.
Submitted by muzun0612 on

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding on specific examples regarding how space research has led to relevant advancements that improve living standards.
Coherence
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for enhanced readability.
Task Achievement
Including specific case studies or examples can add depth and make the argument more compelling.
Coherence
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the argument.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument – a strong feature for task response.
Coherence
Main ideas are clearly outlined and supported by general examples of space research impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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