Due to evelopment and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countires, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, the effects of
expansion
of Add an article
the expansion
an expansion
supermarkets
have become Use synonyms
the
heated debate. Some people assert that big Correct article usage
a
shops
make Use synonyms
local
economyCorrect article usage
the local
discouraging
, Correct word choice
apply
while
others argue Linking Words
otherwise
. Personally, I believe that Linking Words
the
both arguments should be given equal weight. In the following essay, the evidence supporting Remove the article
apply
this
contention will be discussed alongside relevant examples.
On the one hand, large Linking Words
supermarkets
provide cheaper products to consumers, leading to benefits. Use synonyms
In addition
, they offer many opportunities Linking Words
of
choice and Change preposition
for
convenient
environment for shopping. Correct article usage
a convenient
This
means that the quality of individuals will Linking Words
be
increase. Another convincing argument is that Unnecessary verb
apply
expansion
of Correct article usage
the expansion
supermarkets
is likely to create jobs in the societies. Use synonyms
For example
, nowadays, Linking Words
employment
rate Correct article usage
the employment
show
a downward trend, but Change the verb form
shows
the
societies need many workers to work in Correct article usage
apply
the
big businessCorrect article usage
apply
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
On the other hand
, my opinion is that big Linking Words
shops
will bring about the death of Use synonyms
local
economy. The most compelling reason is that if the Correct article usage
the local
supermarkets
dominate the society, other Use synonyms
shops
will close, reducing the connection in the societies. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the large businesses concentrate on specific Linking Words
brand
and goods, Fix the agreement mistake
brands
while
local Linking Words
shops
focus on their properties. Use synonyms
In other words
, the local characteristics endangered in disappearing. Linking Words
For instance
, it can lead to Linking Words
reduce
tourists. Wrong verb form
reduced
According to
the research of Seoul University, local traits influence Linking Words
to
local economic growth. Because visitors want to special restaurant, nothing big business.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about Change preposition
apply
this
topic. Linking Words
However
, after considering Linking Words
this
matter in a careful manner, each side of the debate has its strengths, as discussed above.Linking Words
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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your positions and make the essay more convincing.
task achievement
Try to develop the ideas more thoroughly and clearly connect your points to the prompt. Some ideas seem briefly mentioned without elaborate explanation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed. This will enhance the logical structure of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion and clearly outlines that both sides will be considered, which is a good approach.
introduction conclusion present
You've successfully included a conclusion that summarizes your position and reflects on the arguments presented in the essay.
supported main points
The essay presents arguments for both sides of the topic, showcasing an understanding of balanced discussion.