IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

Every year wide range of individuals relocate from one
country
Use synonyms
 to another for varied causes.In
this
Linking Words
 essay,I will touch on both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of
this
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 situation
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 how it affects individuals and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society as a whole. Preliminary , migration
process
Use synonyms
 has many positive sides on society and individuals .It happens because of some convincing reasons ,say wars or conflicts which occur in special zones.When any group of people transit to another
country
Use synonyms
 ,it is undeniable that they carry their lifestyle ,national customs and traditions
such
Linking Words
 as dressing,dancing,
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
 and so on.
For instance
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,in the street they can dance
under
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to
show examples
 their national song ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be amazing and attractive for social around.As time goes by,they talk and want to learn many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 about their hometown ,
share
Correct word choice
and share
show examples
 their historical views and experiences.On the one hand,
this
Linking Words
 situation is beneficial for
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 in terms of teaching and expanding its language barrier.From these positive
implications
Add a comma
implications,
show examples
 it can be considered advantageous.
On the other hand
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,there are some negative impacts of
this
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process
Use synonyms
 on social around .The
process
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 can be stressful and problematic given some points
such
Linking Words
 as safety,adaptation and monetary.It was exemplified
,
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apply
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when many members of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
change
Replace the word
changed
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 their location to another
country
Use synonyms
 they
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 under stress ,it is hard for their mental health and they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 argue with natives.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another
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 side,they feel
dangereously
Correct your spelling
dangerously
dangerous
,they are not
avare
Correct your spelling
aware
 of
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
 .Ultimately,
economic
Correct article usage
an economic
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 crisis can happen
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 lack of money. In conclusion,
migration
Correct article usage
the migration
show examples
process
Use synonyms
of
Add the comma(s)
, of
show examples
 course ,can be beneficial for another
country
Use synonyms
 because of extending and learning new traditions .
However
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 ,
this
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 period can damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people’s mental health ,
safety
Correct word choice
and safety
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 and lead the
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 issues.

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Grammar and Punctuation
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation; for instance, ensure proper spacing after commas and periods.
Examples
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to enhance your arguments and make your points clearer.
Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point you will discuss in that section.
Style
More variety in sentence structure could improve the overall flow of the essay.
Task Response
The essay introduces both advantages and disadvantages of migration effectively, showing an understanding of the task.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
What to do next:
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