IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

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Regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
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benefits, widespread movement of the individuals can contribute to the progress of citizens and
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. Leaving one country and settling in a completely new country, individuals can make use of
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of opportunities and
communties
Use the right word
communities
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 can adopt new and distinct members. In a new
environment
Add a comma
environment,
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 people can establish strong bonds with locals and exchange their experiences mutually.
Similarly
Linking Words
, communities of specific countries can easily benefit from the integration of different civilisations.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. You wrote only about benefits, but the task asks for benefits and problems for the person and for society.
coherence and cohesion
Add a clear first line and a short last line. This will make your essay feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph, then explain it more. Your ideas are good, but they need more support.
task response
Give one real or clear example. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, for example, and in the end to guide the reader.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic and they match migration well.
task response
You show a clear benefit for people and for society.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has basic paragraph order and it is easy to follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
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