In many countries, people now wear western-stlyle dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clotithing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In an era characterized by shifting social norms and changing family attitudes,it has become increasingly common for individuals to wear
modern- style
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modern-style
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dresses
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like suits and jeans as opposed to traditional
clothes
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,
paricularly
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particularly
in developing countries .
while
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there are clear reasons
to
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for
show examples
this
Linking Words
situation, I believe that it does more harm than good. The new clothing crisis can be attributed to a variety of factors.
Whith
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With
the
increace
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increase
of clothing factories,the quality of clothing has reduced dramatically, which
bring
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brings
show examples
down demand for
dresses
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.Given these circumstances ,it seems logical for people
wear
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to wear
show examples
western-style
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Western-style
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dresses
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rather than traditional clothing,
thus
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perpetuating the demand
of
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for
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modern
clothes
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.Gone are the days when
peope
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people
wear traditional
clothes
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,today's growing fashionable
clothes
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require them to wear modern-style
dresses
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. Despite
these argument
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this argument
these arguments
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, I believe that its drawbacks carry greater weight associated with finance. When people wear
western style
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Western-style
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dresses
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, they splash out on clothing.
As a result
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, they can
loose
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lose
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their finances dramatically,
thus
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perpetuating poverty.
This
Linking Words
is
paricularly
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particularly
detrimental for
lower incomes
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lower-income
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families, who can not manage their
fiancial
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financial
affairs
effectiveley
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effectively
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the
relience
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reliance
on fashionable
cloth
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clothes
show examples
is likely
help
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to help
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people enhance their mood more
effectiveley
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effectively
, I believe that
its
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their
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importance poses more drawbacks.

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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly into distinct paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
Integrate specific examples to strengthen your arguments and provide clearer illustrations.
coherence cohesion
Revise your introduction and conclusion to ensure they support your overall position more effectively.
task achievement
You have successfully identified key reasons why western-style clothing is preferred.
task achievement
Your essay displays an understanding of the potential negative impact of financial implications.
coherence cohesion
It’s clear that you have a central argument, making your essay focused.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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