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Writing Samples
Band 5

Part time courses are on the rise and students are taking them up as an alternative to full time courses. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#part #time #courses #rise #students #alternative #trend
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On
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 world with
ever growing
Add a hyphen
ever-growing
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 challenges and competitiveness the younger generation put more value
to
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on
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time
Use synonyms
 management
hence
Linking Words
 their preference
to
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for
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
Use synonyms
 courses
instead
Linking Words
 of
it
Correct pronoun usage
their their
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full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 counterpart, for the reason that
this
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 has greater benefits than
dounfalls
Correct your spelling
downfalls
downfall
 and the following paragraphs are going to explain why with some examples.
Firstly
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, the flexibility that being able to study half a day or just a couple of days a week
give
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gives
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 a person the opportunity to work to solvent their studies,
in
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addition
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addition,
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 if they have a family
this
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 allows them to look after them and multitask
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 three activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, múltiples studies in Peru had shown that 92 % of pupils would have been
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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able to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
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time
Use synonyms
 education.
Linking Words
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 they wouldn't
had
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have
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 studied anything if it would
had
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have
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 been for the other option.
Secondly
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, the half-day seminar usually goes straight to career lectures
instead
Linking Words
 of
loosing
Replace the word
losing
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time
Use synonyms
 in general knowledge
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 it should not be forgotten that
partial
Add a hyphen
partial-time
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time
Use synonyms
 careers take longer to complete than the full day ones.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example, the Orthodontic speciality full-
time
Use synonyms
 is 2 years and a half and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Part-
time
Use synonyms
 is 3 years.
This
Linking Words
 disadvantage is not a significant one because the routine created
ad
Correct your spelling
at
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 the beginning can easily keep going for a couple of months more. In conclusion, It is more advantageous for youngsters to choose the alternative with more flexibility and direct to the subject they want to learn even
is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 that means it can take a couple of months more.
Submitted by samy150211 on

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structure
To enhance clarity, ensure the introduction more clearly outlines the main arguments that will be presented in the essay. Try to make the conclusion more succinct by summarizing key points from the essay coherently.
language
Avoid minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation mistakes, to make the writing more polished. For example, check the usage of 'for instance' and 'for example' to see if they are positioned correctly.
content
In the task response, while the main points are presented, make sure they are consistently tied back to the central argument about the advantages outweighing disadvantages with more specific examples.
structure
The essay effectively presents a main argument and follows with supportive details across different paragraphs, maintaining a clear line of reasoning.
content
The writing clearly emphasizes the advantages of part-time courses, using relevant examples which strengthen the arguments presented.
cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow from one point to the next, which aids in clarity and reader understanding.
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