many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. what are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 254 words

#students #attention #school

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there is no denying the fact that there is a big

problem

Use synonyms

Students

Use synonyms

can not be

focuse

Correct your spelling

focused

focus

Change preposition

show examples

the

school

Use synonyms

lessons .

Change preposition

show examples

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will talk about the cause of

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

and how to get over it. on one hand , the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

is,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

days it

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

allowd

Correct your spelling

allowed

to bring electronic devices to

school

Use synonyms

witch it hav

Correct your spelling

which has

a big side

efect

Correct your spelling

effect

students

Use synonyms

. in the

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

these devices

slowes

Correct your spelling

slow

the

brain

Change noun form

brain's

show examples

work .

in addition

Linking Words

, the way that the

teachers

Change to a genitive case

teacher's

teachers'

show examples

usee

Correct your spelling

use

show examples

to give the children the lesson,when the teachers use a wrong way

Change preposition

show examples

teaching

offcourse

Correct your spelling

of course

off course

the

students

Use synonyms

will not understand or pay

attintion

Correct your spelling

attention

to them.

Linking Words

also

Add a comma

also,

show examples

there is one more

imprtant

Correct your spelling

important

reason, the way

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

look at the

school

Use synonyms

for

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

if the student

see

Change the verb form

sees

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

booring

Correct your spelling

boring

something to do and as a

negtive

Correct your spelling

negative

thing

offcourse

Correct your spelling

of course

off course

they will not pay

attintion

Correct your spelling

attention

they will only go to

school

Use synonyms

because they must

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, not because they love it.

on the other hand

Linking Words

hwo

Correct your spelling

how

deall

Correct your spelling

deal

with

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

? first of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

we need to make a playing

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

every single week .

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

there is no lesson every

sunday

Change the capitalization

Sunday

show examples

and

tuesday

Change the capitalization

Tuesday

show examples

, and

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

a small activities

Correct the article-noun agreement

small activities

a small activity

show examples

on these days

such

Linking Words

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

to the park or

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

some yoga in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature ,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will help them to get all of the negative energy out and clear

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

mind so they will be ready for the rest of the lessons along the week .

moreover

Linking Words

motivait

Correct your spelling

motivate

them every morning

beffor

Correct your spelling

before

the lectures begin. it will give them

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good energy for the day. In conclusion , in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

it is so important to give the

students

Use synonyms

a reason to study and to love

school

Use synonyms

so they can

realy

Correct your spelling

really

pay

attintion

Correct your spelling

attention

and

sucsess

Correct your spelling

success

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

life.

Linking Words

also

Add a comma

also,

show examples

it is so

importante

Correct your spelling

important

to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

teacheres

Correct your spelling

teachers

teacher

in schools

how

Correct word choice

who

show examples

use

Add the particle

to use

show examples

a good methods

Correct the article-noun agreement

good methods

a good method

show examples

with children.

Submitted by serenhamad3 on Wed Jan 22 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language and Grammar

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve readability.

Task Achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically connected to the next for better coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure.

Task Achievement

You address the problem and potential solutions, covering the main task adequately.

Task Achievement

Including solutions like engaging activities shows thoughtfulness in approach.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

concentration
attention span
distractions
technology
boredom
tiredness
engagement
learning disabilities
teaching techniques
classroom size
family issues
health problems
motivational strategies

What to do next:

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many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. what are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 254 words

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, services, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Nowadays youngsters are less polite and less respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this issue?

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause? What can be done to deal with this.

Some people believe that students should be allowed to evaluate and criticise their teachers to improve the quality of education. Others think this is disrespectful to teachers. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.