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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays many citizens
encourge goverments
Correct your spelling
encourage governments
 to
descover
Correct your spelling
discover
life
Use synonyms
 on
another plants
Replace the adjective
another plant
other plants
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others think it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
looking and searching the universe is important,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
the others opinion
Change to a genitive case
the other's opinion
the others' opinion
show examples
 of focusing on
Correct article usage
the resultion
show examples
resultion
Correct your spelling
resolution
earth
Use synonyms
 issues.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
descovering
Correct your spelling
discovering
space
Use synonyms
 shows huge improvements during the past years.Many
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 put a special amount of
many
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
 from
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 budget for
space
Use synonyms
discovering
Replace the word
discovery
show examples
 trips and many
investing
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
 in
space
Use synonyms
 agencys
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 NASA.Since
earth
Use synonyms
face
Change the verb form
faces
show examples
a significant problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
significant problems
a significant problem
show examples
 starting with
climit
Correct your spelling
climate
 change and
glouble
Correct your spelling
global
 warming to melting ice mountains.
As a result
Linking Words
 ,many individual wants
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to spend more
many
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
 on looking for
life
Use synonyms
 on another
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as ,Mars.
For instance
Linking Words
,many
scientist
Change to a plural noun
scientists
show examples
 believe that living on
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 could be impossible in the next 100 years from now.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of people
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 must
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
 on programs ,
inistitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 and projects
aime
Correct your spelling
aim
 to solve
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 problems .
Although
Linking Words
 many active members of society work to elevate
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
awearnes
Correct your spelling
awareness
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation ,the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 for
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 hand significant.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 should spent on supporting people or
institions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 work on looking for
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
show examples
 to reduce pollution
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
solar panels and wind energy eventually
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the effects on
earth
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 saving our
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
. That
what
Add a missing verb
is what
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe in
Conclusion
In conclusion ,no matter how important the
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
 of investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 for scientific reasons
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
finding
life
Use synonyms
 on another
plants
Correct your spelling
planet is
show examples
 one of them,putting the many to solve problems
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
threateing
Correct your spelling
the
danger
Fix the agreement mistake
dangers
show examples
 human
life
Use synonyms
 now
adys
Correct your spelling
has
 overcome the first view.

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively, providing more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and expression of your ideas. Sometimes your points are not entirely clear, which affects the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is well-structured. Clear paragraphing and logical flow of ideas enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Correcting errors will help improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring the arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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