Question--Some people say that TV Advertisement have benefits, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both views , give your own opinion and include examples from your experience

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While
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
believe that
TV
Use synonyms
advertisements have many disadvantages,others think the opposite .In my opinion ,the pros of it for the consumer or the company owners
are overcome
Change the verb form
have overcome
show examples
the drawback. On the
one
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hand,when it comes to the benefit of
TV
Use synonyms
advertiseing
Correct your spelling
advertising
we need to mention the two main
people
Use synonyms
get
Correct pronoun usage
who get
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the benefit (the consumer ,the product or company owners).As a person the advantages of watching ads between
programes
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
expose you to
varies
Replace the word
various
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kinds of products that may found it useful
eventally
Correct your spelling
eventually
.From
Correct article usage
the owners
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owners
Change noun form
owner's
owners'
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aspect
Add a comma
aspect,
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the
majorty
Correct your spelling
majority
of
Tv
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advertisements
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
can see
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
now with the most item
sell
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
in the world that
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
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the
important
Replace the word
importance
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of it and how
significantlly
Correct your spelling
significantly
significant
effect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the consumer.
For instance
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,product like
nivea
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Nivea
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,veet and
headandshoulders
Correct your spelling
head and shoulders
one
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of
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
items get their market position after using
TV
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wisely.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,watching
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
specially the
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
with
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
such
Linking Words
as zain , the
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
with
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of colour that bring
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
around or the
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
with high
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
would be fun .
Additionlly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
educating
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
people
Use synonyms
about
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
aspects of life.
Use synonyms
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the other hand ,many argue that
advertisement
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is a
wasting
Fix the agreement mistake
waste of
show examples
time they think nobody watches them.
In addition
Linking Words
,many believe that
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
on of the main reasons why individual nowadays
directs
Wrong verb form
directed
show examples
toward watching their
faviort
Correct your spelling
favourite
program ,series and visual
podcast
Fix the agreement mistake
podcasts
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in
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
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such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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watching platforms and apps.
Moreover
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,advertising sometimes
disturbute
Correct your spelling
distribute
family
leisur
Correct your spelling
leisure
time with
un necessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
show examples
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
. In
conclsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
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many
hates
Change the verb form
hate
show examples
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and think it is unnecessary on
TV
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, in my point of view
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
everythink
Correct your spelling
everything
could be useful to
one
Use synonyms
and
distributing
Wrong verb form
distributed
show examples
to others , with
Use synonyms
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
the pros overcome the cons since it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
not only for promoting ideas and item but
also
Linking Words
for
educate
Change the form of the verb
educating
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.

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Task Response
Your response covers multiple viewpoints on the topic, which is good, but ensure you elaborate more on each perspective to provide a comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs to improve cohesion.
Language and Grammar
Some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes are present, which can affect clarity. Try to proofread your work or use grammar checking tools to polish your essay.
Task Response
When providing examples, try to connect them clearly with the point you are making, ensuring they are detailed and specific.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion clearly frame the discussion, indicating a thoughtful approach.
Task Response
Good attempt to present both sides of the argument with specific examples, like mentioning well-known brands that have benefited from TV ads.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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