IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people work at home and study at home with the development of computer technology. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Computers
makes
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make
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 our life easy and
convinient
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convenient
 for those who are working from home and remotely studying.
The
Correct article usage
Computer
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computer
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technology
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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 changed the world in a unique way to make our
life
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lives
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 easier and better.
First,
Linking Words
the advantage of
computer
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technology
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 is accessibility. It is
user friendly
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user-friendly
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, easy to navigate, it can provide and collect data, and most importantly it can create a whole new system of learning.
For example
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, if you want to be
knowledgable
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knowledgeable
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 about the
acient
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ancient
 history of the Egyptians, all you got to do
open
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is open
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 your browser engine and it will show you will all the
information
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 and answers that you need. Teachers
who's
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whose
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 job is to teach and guide learners, use the
computer
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 as a tool to explore
subject
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subjects
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 and topics
that
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is
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are
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 out of the textbooks and gain more expertise
on
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in
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 their teaching skills.
Secondly
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, the disadvantage of
computer
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technology
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 is addiction. Most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people tend to focus more on their social media accounts rather than studying or working. They share too much
information
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 about themselves that it might be a reason why someone can pretend and steal your identity.
Also
Linking Words
, not all
information
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 that can be found online
are
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is
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 true. There are articles and
information
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 that are false and misleading. There are always limitations when using a
computer
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, so we should always think before we click.
Lastly
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, as a person who finds
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computer
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computers
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 very useful, I would recommend everyone to try and see the world in a bigger picture. There are a lot of things that we didn't know and we can discover if we are open to
embrace
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embracing
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 the
technology
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 and the endless possibilities it offers.

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task achievement
Ensure that each argument is fully developed with relevant and specific examples. More detailed examples can add strength to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to create smoother transitions between paragraphs to help maintain the flow of ideas. Linking words or phrases can be beneficial here.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of some small inaccuracies in word choice and sentence structure. Reviewing these can enhance clarity and precision.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of computer technology, which aligns well with the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the arguments within the text.
task achievement
The point made about the accessibility of computer technology in education is compelling and relevant.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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