Some people think that success is the best measures for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

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Some people choose their
job
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based on the
salary
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rate,
while
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others are
concerning
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concerned
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to have
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about having
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a
Remove the article
apply
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satisfaction
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in working. I believe that
job
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satisfaction
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is better than a high
salary
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,
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apply
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because it will generate
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good mental health and loyalty of workers. Nowadays, mental health is one of
biggest
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the biggest
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issues among workers.
Moreover
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, some offices provide a psychological consultation to keep motivating their employees.
For instance
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, I have a friend who worked in one of
big
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the big
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four companies, called PwC. PwC is known for its high
salary
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and benefits. Based on her experience, she could easily get around
fifty-million
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fifty million
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rupiah a month
due to
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her project. The problem is,
she
Correct word choice
that she
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could not have a
work
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-life balance when the workload was high. It brought her to be a stressful and unhappy person. Since she decided to be a civil servant in her hometown, she feels better. She admits that the
numbers
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number
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of
works
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workers
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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not that high, and it is
also
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supported by a good working environment. Now she is happier to
work
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there.
Furthermore
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, several employees who decided to
work
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in
a
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the
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same
job
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for many years, admit that it is
due to
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the good ambience and peers they found. Indirectly, a comfortable working environment can be a good support system for employees.
For instance
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, I am now working in a small team unit, because we are only five people here. We are required to do many reports and meetings
in
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at
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a
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the
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same time.
Due to
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supportive peers, we often share our workload, which sometimes
are
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is
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not our
job
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description.
Hence
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, I’m helped by them, and I have a will to enhance my capacity to
work
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here. In conclusion, if I must choose between a high
salary
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or
job
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satisfaction
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, I will take
the
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apply
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satisfaction
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as my priority. In my view,
by
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apply
show examples
having
a
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apply
show examples
good
satisfaction
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in working,
it
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apply
show examples
generates a happier mental health and
boost
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boosts
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my best efforts to
work
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in
a
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the
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same company or unit for years to come.

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language
Make sure to avoid minor grammatical errors, such as 'are concerning to have' which should be 'are concerned with having.'
content development
Include more diverse examples or points to strengthen your argument further.
content
The essay effectively discusses both mental health and work satisfaction as crucial elements of job satisfaction, providing a well-rounded perspective.
structure
Clear conclusion which reiterates the main points discussed and provides a personal viewpoint.
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