Children today find it's difficult to concentrate or pay attention in schools. Why do you think causes this problem? What do we need to do to solve this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In contemporary society, a concerning trend is the growing difficulty

children

Use synonyms

face in maintaining focus and concentration in the school setting.

This

Linking Words

issue stems from the pervasive influence of digital devices, which promote instant gratification,

as well as

Linking Words

the sedentary lifestyles that impede

children

Use synonyms

's ability to concentrate effectively.

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into the causes of

this

Linking Words

problem and propose viable solutions to address it. The primary factors contributing to the short attention span observed in

children

Use synonyms

are digital distractions and a lack of physical activity. The ubiquitous presence of smartphones, computers, and tablets serves as a constant source of diversion for young individuals. Social media platforms, instant messaging applications, and engaging video games often lure students away from their academic responsibilities, offering instant entertainment that requires minimal effort.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the process of learning demands sustained dedication and focused effort to achieve academic success.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the absence of regular physical exercise exacerbates

this

Linking Words

issue by compromising

children

Use synonyms

's physical health,

subsequently

Linking Words

impacting their cognitive abilities, including attention span. To tackle

this

Linking Words

issue effectively, two key solutions can be implemented.

Firstly

Linking Words

, limiting students' screen time can significantly mitigate distractions. By restricting digital device usage to one hour per day after school,

children

Use synonyms

can allocate more time to academic pursuits without succumbing to digital diversions during school hours.

Additionally

Linking Words

, collaborative efforts between schools and parents are essential to provide ample opportunities for adolescents to engage in physical activity.

This

Linking Words

can be achieved through initiatives

such

Linking Words

as incorporating daily physical education classes and organizing sports programs over weekends, thereby promoting a healthier and more active lifestyle among

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the excessive use of digital devices and inadequate physical exercise

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

emerged as detrimental factors affecting

children

Use synonyms

's attention spans,

consequently

Linking Words

leading to subpar academic performance and sedentary habits. To address these challenges effectively, concerted efforts from schools and parents are imperative to curb excessive screen time and encourage regular physical activity among

children

Use synonyms

, ensuring their holistic development and academic success.

zhangkejiakrizzaThu Jan 23 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific studies or statistics related to screen time and attention spans.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the essay is well structured, ensure each paragraph distinctively supports a single main idea to improve clarity.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses the task prompt, providing a clear response to the causes and solutions regarding children's attention difficulties.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, summarizing the key points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout the essay, linking causes and solutions systematically.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Attention span
Screen time
Cognitive function
Focus
Diet and nutrition
Processed foods
Cognitive function
Concentration levels
Sleep deprivation
Extracurricular activities
Distractions
Classroom environment
Teaching methods
Interactive content
Mental health issues
Anxiety
ADHD
Diagnosed
Concentration
Multimedia content

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantanges? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is no doubt that these days a lot of parents prefer to have children at a later age in their lives.
7.5
band
Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Wild animals are kept in zoos all over the world. However, these places are tourist attractions in many countries and need wild fauna to attract visitors. I believe that wild creatures should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative ways to see them.
6
band
Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. gpt
There is an ongoing debate regarding the education of children. Some individuals believe that learning at home is the best condition for improvement, while others argue that attending school is essential. Therefore, ahead of presenting my opinion, both views will be discussed further.
6
band
nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
It has been an enigmatic quandary as to whether economic development brings beneficial effects to society. However, it is explicit that environmental devastation, a disadvantage, outweighs technological advancements, an advantage, through economic development. The scope and breadth of environmental devastation and technological advancement precisely illustrate my point of view.
7.5
band
Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?
The number of adverts shown nowadays has considerably risen. In my opinion, these advertisements have a great influence on consumer behaviour. Nevertheless, governments shouldn't take any measures to avoid it due to the right that companies have which is to show their products and services to the projected consumers. Rather must be the community who have the means to protect themselves who take measures to avoid manipulation.

Children today find it's difficult to concentrate or pay attention in schools. Why do you think causes this problem? What do we need to do to solve this problem?

Your opinion

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantanges? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. gpt

nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?