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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the number of enquiries that
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 given to the Tourist Information Office
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
tree
Correct your spelling
three
show examples
 different ways during the
half of a year
Correct your spelling
half-a-year
show examples
 period in 2011. Generally, all three methods of delivering enquiries to the TIO showed a positive trend except the email and letter sending.
Additionally
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, the most and least popular methods are bringing physical
copy
Fix the agreement mistake
copies
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 in person and sending a letter respectively.
To begin
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 with, in January
while
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 a phone method stood at almost 900 people, approximately 410 people decided to get to
office
Add an article
the office
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 and provide the enquiry.
However
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, after 2,5
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
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 the situation changed
negativelly
Correct your spelling
negatively
 for
calling
Correct article usage
the calling
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 method, and in April the gap between
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 two ways was almost 200 users.
Moreover
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,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the time period, when positions of popularity
was
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were
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 the telephone, the letter and
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
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 methods, in the
last
Linking Words
 month
positin
Correct your spelling
position
 was altered for all of them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, email users consisted of only under 400 people, which is four times fewer than sending information via digital gadget and almost five times fewer than the
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
 method
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1900 individuals in June.
Submitted by hhaha9102 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
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