Due to evelopment and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countires, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that
number
of Change the article
the number
supermarket
increasing leading to Change to a plural noun
supermarkets
limit
Correct article usage
a limit
the
success of local Change preposition
on the
business
, which can main reason Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
of disponinting
between people in local communities and Verb problem
for the disconnect
stop
Correct article usage
the stop
working
. In my opinion, I strongly believe that increasing Change preposition
of working
of
Change preposition
apply
forigen
business will bring Correct your spelling
foreign
the
failure to society business. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will discuss the Linking Words
reason
supporting my view.
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
To begin
with, there are several reasons why Linking Words
Correct article usage
the spread
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
large
Change preposition
of large
works
around cities will Fix the agreement mistake
work
causes
many problems Change the verb form
cause
to
citizens Change preposition
for
workers
in the country. Correct word choice
and workers
Firstly
, global supermarkets Linking Words
attractive
many customers, because of Replace the word
attract
variety
in sales. In these Correct article usage
the variety
cases
the one will Add a comma
cases,
goes
there Change the verb form
go
upon
on time and doesn't care or notice the small markets in the town. For Change preposition
apply
examples
, in Fix the agreement mistake
example
America
they have Add a comma
America,
famous
market in different areas called Cusco and many customers prefer it Add an article
a famous
the famous
much
rather than others. Change the quantifier
many
Secondly
, in some Linking Words
countries
the authorities give chances to Add a comma
countries,
the
famous brands Correct article usage
apply
for investing
Change preposition
to invest
on
their lands to increase the finance sources. Change preposition
in
This
highlights Linking Words
that
why almost Correct word choice
apply
of
the largest shops are successful more than the smallest Correct pronoun usage
all of
one
.
Correct pronoun usage
ones
On the other hand
, the rapid expansion of supermarkets may Linking Words
caused
damage to Change the verb form
cause
be caused
communities
markets. To illustrate, why the closer of working places in the area will hurt families and the government Fix the agreement mistake
community
in
the other side. Change preposition
on
For example
, many studies over Linking Words
Linking Words
last
ten years have shown the incomes of local people decreased sharply, Correct article usage
the last
due to
Linking Words
spread
of global brands in the town. Correct article usage
the spread
Moreover
, much Linking Words
monies
Correct your spelling
money is
transferring
out Wrong verb form
transferred
the
region and no one in Change preposition
of the
societies is beneficial
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
society benefits
while
there are arguments in Linking Words
favor
of Change the spelling
favour
development
of large supermarkets in communities. I firmly believe that we must Add an article
the development
be
give Unnecessary verb
apply
aportionites
to our friends in society and encourage the local industries through buying and publishing Correct your spelling
opportunities
in
our platforms on social media.Change preposition
on
Submitted by emeya98 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Work on providing a more balanced view by acknowledging the potential benefits of supermarkets to local communities.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Structure paragraphs starting with a clear topic sentence and ensure each point flows logically to the next to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words effectively to connect ideas across different sections of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint about the effects of supermarkets on local businesses.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and summarize the main points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.