IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work do you think advantags outweigh vote disadvantages

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Many
students
Use synonyms
 take a break for one year because of
finish
Replace the word
finishing
show examples
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
.
Linking Words
While
Change preposition
During
show examples
 the break they trip around the world and work on
a new jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new job
new jobs
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. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 occasion's positive side is bigger than
Correct article usage
the harms
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harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
. First and foremost, when
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 season
is finish
Change the verb form
is finished
show examples
, a lot of
students
Use synonyms
'
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
is so
Verb problem
are
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 confused because of lessons.
Hence
Linking Words
, the biggest
porcion
Correct your spelling
portion
 of
students
Use synonyms
 chose to go
holiday
Change preposition
on holiday
show examples
 or learn new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 help them
for
Change preposition
with
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 their
menthal
Correct your spelling
mental
 health.
For example
Linking Words
, one survey shows,
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 do meditation
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
during
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
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this
Linking Words
peacful
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 part of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
 these activities make them
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 break after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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can be
good
Add an article
a good
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 decision for
students
Use synonyms
' health.
Secondly
Linking Words
, free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 can let
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
discover new things
such
Linking Words
 as coding and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 new
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. If
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
show examples
 have
Correct article usage
the oppurtunity
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oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 create new things their success process
is improving
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, experts say " new abilities have so important role in
students
Use synonyms
' life,
also
Linking Words
 rest for 1 year is
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
 big chance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 develop new skills".
To sum up
Linking Words
, these rest can teach different knowledge
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the major benefit of break
is learn
Change the verb form
is learning
show examples
a brand information
Remove the article
brand information
a piece of brand information
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 on new
proffesions
Correct your spelling
professions
 like a kitchen department. İf
students
Use synonyms
 select
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any job they can be
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
Initially
Linking Words
, some countries have a system
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
Erasums
Correct article usage
the Erasums
show examples
 method. If
students
Use synonyms
 have
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learn new things, Erasmus helps them . Rather
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 system is so huge. The result is the biggest part of
students
Use synonyms
 select to work
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learn new something and some apps' users
is becomes
Change the verb form
become
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, experience,
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
 mind and discovering passion
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 so significant
also
Linking Words
 the rest
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
let to
Verb problem
,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
do these.

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Introduction
Ensure to clarify what the 'occasion' refers to at the start, possibly edit it for better flow.
Structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and aligns with the main idea.
Language Use
Work on sentence structure and grammar for clear and concise expression.
Examples
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to strengthen arguments.
Examples
Clarify the connection between examples and the main points for better support.
Conclusion
Separate different points clearly in conclusion and relate them back to the main thesis.
Content
The essay recognizes potential benefits of a gap year such as mental health, skill development, and new experiences.
Conclusion
The writer attempts to conclude by summarizing main points.
Structure
Attempts to introduce a formal structure are visible with introduction, body, and conclusion segments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Life experiences
  • Personal growth
  • Independence
  • Resume enhancement
  • Practical skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global perspective
  • Academic burnout
  • Renewed energy
  • Financial savings
  • Student loans
  • Skillset
  • Workforce
  • Self-discovery
What to do next:
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