IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All students should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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In
this
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 present world, in many countries, students are undergraduates and don'
t
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 have enough knowledge. Some
people
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 including me, believe that those who don'
t
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 have enough knowledge should learn
while
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 others argue about it.
To begin
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, the
government
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 taking action for
education
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however
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, the mind is something that, money can'
t
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 buy
for example
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, the
government
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 already created spaces for learning
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
people
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 have are lazily made another story
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not to study, opening new centres to learn new things is not a great solution but
instead
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, the
government
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 needs to teach
people
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 who maintain being disciplined after that, society finds the motivation to explore new lessons.
Secondly
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,
education
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 is not a simple thing that can be learned in one day, there are a few solutions, for
people
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 who cannot read or don'
t
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 want it either if the
education
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 system makes it smaller tasks or makes them look like
this
Linking Words
 form and show
people
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 great rewards coming from
education
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, it would be helpful them to learn and to be inspired.
To sum up
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, I believe that, it completely depends on the
people
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 but it would be great if the
government
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 took control of that, so it will be easy and fun to explore new lessons

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task achievement
Your essay presents a viewpoint but needs to be more focused on addressing the specific question about learning foreign languages in schools. Make sure your arguments are tightly related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs more logical structure, including clearly defined paragraphs that each focus on a single idea that supports your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
You attempted to provide solutions and support for your view, indicating an understanding of the problem-solution structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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