IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons behind this view? What are the solutions to change it?

#people #tourism #country #change
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One school of thought holds that global visitors have a negative impact on various aspects of the local countries.
This
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 essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind
this
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 tendency before outlining several viable solutions that should be adopted to tackle it. There are two primary reasons why local inhabitants often consider international tourism as a cause of many serious issues in their countries. One justification is that it may have an adverse bearing on traditional customs.
For example
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,
while
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 visiting Vietnam, some Western strangers could be rowdy and wear unsuitable clothing,
such
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 as going to the pagoda where one must wear long and polite clothes but not all visitors know it. In consequence, it might have an undesirable influence on local young people who copy easily whatever they think is cool like
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. Another rationale is that foreigners often pollute and throw litter in tourist attractions.
For instance
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, a variety of famous beaches in Vietnam,
such
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 as Phu Quoc and Sam Son, have been polluted because of
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 lack of respect for the local environment, and the unconsciousness of sightseers when they finish eating leave garbage and throw it indiscriminately beaches. To combat
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 worrying issue, the following essential steps should be taken. First of all, traditional beauty should be widely spread.
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 is because enhancing the development of society
as well as
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 national identity will help our country to access new cultures and be known by foreign tourists so that they can better understand the customs of our country and behave properly.
Secondly
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, the government should have policies to support people in cleaning the environment and issue fines for those who lack awareness. By the way, sightseers or even residents will be more responsible for preserving the environment
as well as
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 respecting the culture of the country they visit. In conclusion, there are some underlying motives behind
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 negative tendency towards international traversing, and it is crucial that the aforementioned measures be implemented to deal with
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 issue.
Submitted by ngocanh.22102007 on

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task achievement
Try to bring out more examples where possible. Utilizing specific examples helps further clarify your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining transitions between paragraphs or ideas to ensure the essay flows more seamlessly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
You provided a good introduction and conclusion that frames the central theme of your essay.
task achievement
You used examples to illustrate your ideas and support your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental impact
  • Over-tourism
  • Pollution
  • Natural habitats
  • Cultural erosion
  • Economic dependency
  • Resource strain
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Eco-friendly practices
  • Cultural heritage
  • Infrastructure
  • Diversification
  • Empowerment
  • Awareness programs
  • Visitor limits
  • Off-peak tourism
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