IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions.

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In numerous professional
sports
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, the
use
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 of prohibited
substances
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 among athletes to enhance their performance increases. The reasons behind
this
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 are athletes want to become winners without sufficient practice, and the testing
method
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of
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for
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 the
use
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 of prohibited
substances
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 is faulty. The plausible solutions to
this
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 problem are to increase awareness among the
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athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
 about their professional integrity and take effective measures to find out the
use
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 of banned
substances
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.
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Athelets
Correct your spelling
Athletes
 want to win the game without adequate practice and dedication. If they win, they achieve appreciation from the audience, financial rewards, fame and prosperity. They,
therefore
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, want to win in a short-cut
method
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 and take the help of banned
substances
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.
Moreover
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, the testing
method
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 banned
substances
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 in
the
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apply
show examples
sports
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 is faulty.
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Athelets
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Athletes
 easily can cheat
this
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method
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 and
use
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 banned
substances
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while
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 participating in the game.
For instance
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, a well-known
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athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
athlete
 Kim John, in 2019, injected himself
a
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with a
show examples
prohibited substance 30 minutes before the race in the Olympic Games to improve his performance. He tactfully cheated the organizers because the testing
method
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 was so weak. To tackle
this
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 issue, professional integrity among the
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athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
 should be increased.
While
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 taking professional
trainings
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training
pieces of training
show examples
 and lessons,
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athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
 should be taught about their commitment and accountability towards the game and the audience.
Furthermore
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, appropriate measures should be taken to find out the banned
substances
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 in
sports
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. The testing
method
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the presence of banned
substances
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 should be advanced and should clearly and concisely identify the
use
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 of
substances
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK, the testing methods
of
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for
show examples
 identifying prohibited
substances
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is
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are
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 so strict, and no athletes
has been
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have
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 taken part in
the
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apply
show examples
sports
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 using these
substances
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 till now. In conclusion, the causes behind using banned
substances
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 are winning in a short-cut
method
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,
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apply
show examples
 and the weak identification system of the presence of prohibited
substances
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. To handle
this
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 problem,
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athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
 should be conscious of their academic integrity, and the testing
method
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 should be strong to identify the presence of banned
substances
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.

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task achievement
While the essay presents clear ideas, it could benefit from more detailed examples to strengthen the argument about the causes and solutions.
task achievement
There are several small inaccuracies, such as misspellings of 'athletes' and 'academic' instead of 'professional' integrity. Make sure to proofread for spelling and word choice to maintain clarity.
complete response
Consider further elaborating on how these solutions could be implemented practically to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are linked smoothly and consistently throughout the essay to enhance cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the key points that are addressed in the essay, which enhances clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The essay conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed, providing a strong end to the argument.
logical structure
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anti-doping regulations
  • Detection methods
  • Ban substances
  • Ethical issues
  • Health risks
  • Fair play
  • Sportsmanship
  • Stakes
  • Pressure to succeed
  • Enforcement
  • Awareness programs
  • Testing frequency
  • Entourage
  • Science advancement
  • Financial gains
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