The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Directors of
movies
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and series have a huge responsibility of guiding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters
in
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on
show examples
right
Add an article
the right
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path but it is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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.
Moreover
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,
violence
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in
the
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apply
show examples
films and television series is rapidly increasing which may lead to serious
crimes
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in society. So,
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government
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the government
show examples
should regulate the sensor board and remove scenes
such
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as child abuse, homicide, assault, chain snatching , rape and so on. I totally agree that
,
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apply
show examples
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government
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the government
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should assess the film and remove extremely
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violence
Replace the word
violent
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scenes. Thriller and horror genre
movies
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have brutal sequences which will disturb the audience. Sometimes,
people
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get inspired
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
movies
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and get into criminal
offence
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offences
show examples
.
For example
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, once German
movie
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portrayed
chain
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a chain
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snatcher and his luxurious lifestyle after
involved
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being involved
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in
theft
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the theft
a theft
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.
Few
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A few
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people
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inspired
Add a missing verb
were inspired
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with
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by
show examples
the
movie
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and started chain snatching and
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
dozens
Fix the agreement mistake
dozen
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in
Add a missing verb
were in
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that.
Due to
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this
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, the
movie
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was banned in the country. So most
the
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of the
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country's
government
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implemented sensor
board
Fix the agreement mistake
boards
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which analyze the
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movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
and remove unethical, immoral and
extreme
Replace the word
extremely violent
show examples
violence
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scenes. Any
movie
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should have a core theme which will benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society not in the other way. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many
movies
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have
violence
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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also
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comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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with
message
Add an article
a message
the message
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of how it will ruin
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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person who doing it. Nowadays,
people
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are smart and know what to take from the
movie
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.
People
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should know the violent
crimes
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and
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
punishment so that they don't
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
.
Movies
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helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
in showing that. In conclusion, I totally agree that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should form
sensor
Correct article usage
a sensor
show examples
board and remove unnecessary
Use synonyms
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
crimes
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
against women and children. By doing these, young
people
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involving
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
in
crimes
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can be reduced.
However
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, directors should have social responsibility and make films which is useful for society.

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task response
Try to maintain a consistent tone throughout your essay and avoid changing your stance mid-paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and remains focused on a single idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining sentence structures to enhance clarity and fluidity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position, providing a strong foundation for your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates your stance.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains relevant examples like the reference to the German movie, which strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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