IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

children from less affluent families are better prepred for adult life than children from wealthy families, agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A family’s financial situation affects how
children
Use synonyms
 grow up and deal with adult problems. Some people think
children
Use synonyms
 from less affluent
families
Use synonyms
 are better prepared for
life
Use synonyms
 because they face challenges early. Others believe
children
Use synonyms
 from wealthy
families
Use synonyms
 are more prepared because of the
opportunities
Use synonyms
 they get.I think that both groups can be prepared for adult
life
Use synonyms
 in different ways. on one side of the coin,
CHILDREN
Use synonyms
 FROM LESS WEALTHY
FAMILIES
Use synonyms
 OFTEN DEVELOP IMPORTANT
LIFE
Use synonyms
 SKILLS.
For example
Linking Words
, they learn how to manage money, make careful decisions, and solve problems. These
children
Use synonyms
 often understand the value of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 because they see how their
families
Use synonyms
 struggle to meet basic needs.
This
Linking Words
 makes them stronger and more determined to succeed as adults. on the other side of the coin,
CHILDREN
Use synonyms
 FROM WEALTHY
FAMILIES
Use synonyms
 HAVE DIFFERENT ADVANTAGES. They often have access to good schools, better healthcare, and extracurricular activities like sports or music. These
opportunities
Use synonyms
 help them learn new skills and build confidence.
For instance
Linking Words
, attending top schools can prepare them for successful careers, and having financial support allows them to focus on their goals without worrying about money.
However
Linking Words
, both groups face their own challenges.
Children
Use synonyms
 from poorer
families
Use synonyms
 may struggle with fewer
opportunities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as limited access to education. Meanwhile, wealthier
children
Use synonyms
 might feel pressure to meet high expectations or rely too much on their family wealth. In conclusion,
Children
Use synonyms
 from poor
families
Use synonyms
 often develop skills like resilience and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
While
Linking Words
 wealthy kids benefit from better resources and
opportunities
Use synonyms
. both groups can succeed in adult
life
Use synonyms
, showing that money is only one part of the picture.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

writing
Ensure capitalization in headings and sentences is consistent for better readability, e.g., capitalizing the first letter of each sentence.
writing
Consider elaborating on key points with more specific examples or detailed explanations.
content
The essay presents a balanced perspective, recognizing the advantages and challenges faced by both groups of children.
structure
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion and summarize the main ideas.
content
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, contributing to a thorough examination of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: