Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
individual
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individuals
show examples
believe that
children's
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children
show examples
should
complet
Correct your spelling
complete
their
education
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full time at least until
Correct article usage
the aged
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aged
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age
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of 18 years.
Although
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many people nowadays think
Use synonyms
school's
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schools
show examples
are not important , I agree with continuing study no matter what . On the one hand ,
education
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is one of the most quality
specially
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especially
show examples
during the first years of
humans
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human
show examples
life
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.
School
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and other
Use synonyms
education
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educational
show examples
institution
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institutions
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provied
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provide
provided
young people with the basic knowledge and morals that every individual in
the
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apply
show examples
socity
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society
suppose to take.
Furthermore
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, the first 18 years of
human's
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human
show examples
development are crucial ,during
this
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period they
are
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apply
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should be more self-focused rather than caring about
works
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work
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or
adults
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adult
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-
life
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-challenges .
However
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, many children
forced
Add a missing verb
are forced
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to leave
school
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due to
Linking Words
certain
difficalties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
in their
life
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such
Linking Words
as poverty
thus
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they need to
provied
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provide
time to
supporting
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support
show examples
their families.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these days huge
number's
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numbers
show examples
of people think that
their
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there
show examples
is no need for
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school's
Change the noun form
schools
school
show examples
in
term
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terms
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of personal growth ,morals or even being
succes
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success
.
Additionally
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,
their
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there
show examples
are increasing thoughts of
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
not as
the
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in the
show examples
past ,many
institution
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institutions
show examples
provied
Correct your spelling
provided
provide
the educational duty only and
ignoring
Wrong verb form
ignore
show examples
any other social ,mental and personal development
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
of their jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, the major world
millionairs
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millionaires
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
not finished primary
school
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,
in addition
Linking Words
to the fast way of gaining money nowadays with social media and
Correct article usage
the coins
show examples
coins
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coin
show examples
market . In conclusion, the movement of leaving
school
Use synonyms
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
early age to pursue
life
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took
Verb problem
has
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
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part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
our
socity
Correct your spelling
society
nowadays ,
althouhgh
Correct your spelling
although
taking primary
education
Use synonyms
untill
Correct your spelling
until
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
aged
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age
show examples
is necessary .
Submitted by youmnamaher91 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clearer structure in your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas logically follow each other. Use topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in illustrating your arguments and making them more convincing.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammar. While these won't drastically lower your grade, improving them can help make your essay clearer and more professional.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
You acknowledge different perspectives on the issue, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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