IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the government should provide free healthcare for all citizens, while others think individuals should be responsible for their own medical costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction:
Healthcare
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 is an essential service that affects the well-being of
individuals
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 and societies. Some
people
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 believe that the government should provide free medical care for all citizens,
while
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 others argue that
individuals
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 should be responsible for their own
treatment
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. The debate continues as both sides have strong arguments regarding affordability and responsibility.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my opinion on the matter. First Supporting Paragraph: Many
people
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 believe that free
healthcare
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 is a fundamental right. If the government funds medical services,
people
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 from all financial backgrounds can access
treatment
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 without worrying about costs.
For example
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, in countries with universal medicine, citizens receive free check-ups and therapy, leading to better public wellness. When
healthcare
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 is free,
people
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 are more likely to seek early diagnosis, which helps prevent chronic diseases and reduces long-term
healthcare
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 expenses.
Therefore
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, universal
healthcare
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 can improve
overall
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 public fitness and reduce economic inequality. Second Supporting Paragraph:
On the other hand
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, some argue that
individuals
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 should pay for their own
treatment
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. They believe that free
healthcare
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 can lead to inefficiency and overuse of medical services.
For instance
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, in countries where
healthcare
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 is fully subsidized, hospitals often struggle with long waiting times and limited resources.
In contrast
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, a private medical system ensures that
people
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 only use therapy and exercise programs when necessary.
Additionally
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, paying for medicine encourages
individuals
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 to take responsibility for their own wellness by maintaining a nutritional diet and staying physically active. Conclusion: In summary, both free and paid
healthcare
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 systems have advantages and disadvantages.
While
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 government-funded
treatment
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 ensures equal access, a private system promotes efficiency and personal responsibility. In my opinion, a balanced approach, where essential medical services are free but additional care is paid for, can provide the best results. Governments should focus on preventive
healthcare
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 to reduce
overall
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 costs and improve public health in the long run.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more in-depth analysis or examples to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the supporting paragraphs. This will enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your transition phrases enhance the flow of your argument throughout the essay. This will help with coherence and make it easier for the reader to follow your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up a balanced discussion, effectively engaging the reader's interest.
Task Achievement
You provide a thoughtful conclusion that summarizes the main points and presents a nuanced opinion, which adds depth to your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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