IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children should go to school as early as possible where as others believe they should wait until they are 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Although
Linking Words
 many people believe that kids should join schools
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
, I agree with
the others point
Change to a genitive case
the other's point
the others' point
show examples
 of view of the need to
waits
Wrong verb form
wait
show examples
 until the proper
age
Use synonyms
 .With
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both views and mine in them . On the one hand ,some
children
Use synonyms
 grow
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
 high IQ
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, their
parents
Use synonyms
 do not want to waste years
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 7 years .
Additionally
Linking Words
 ,many
parents
Use synonyms
 think school will
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 a perfect
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
child
Use synonyms
 to
takes
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper educational ,
Correct word choice
and moral
show examples
moral
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
show examples
 and provide a good community that will allow the
children
Use synonyms
 to personal growth and mental
deveiopment
Correct your spelling
development
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 with busy
parents
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,waiting until the proper
age
Use synonyms
 was
many
Correct pronoun usage
what many
show examples
 others
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
show examples
.Giving the
child
Use synonyms
 the chance to live his childhood with other kids will support his mental and emotional states by making
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of memories rather than
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 extra pressure on them
during
Change preposition
at
show examples
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
,schools bring stress and
anxity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
 and
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 with
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of responsibilities that
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
less than 7 years
could
Correct word choice
old could
show examples
 not handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, here in
Iraq
Add a comma
Iraq,
show examples
 the educational
systems
Fix the agreement mistake
system
show examples
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not allow
parents
Use synonyms
 to put their
children
Use synonyms
 in school at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 ,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment perovide
Correct your spelling
government provides
 them
alternatives
Change preposition
with alternatives
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
pre-school
Correct your spelling
preschool
show examples
 institutions that allow the
children
Use synonyms
 to experience the system
in addition
Linking Words
, educational
programmes
Correct your spelling
programs
show examples
 which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with alot . In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 desire
of putting
Change preposition
to put
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 at school
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
 could sound
reasenable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
,the
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to live
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 childhood is
necessarely ratherthan
Correct your spelling
necessary rather than
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 the carry
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
.

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grammatical range and accuracy
Work on improving the grammatical accuracy of your writing to enhance clarity. For instance, focus on correct verb forms and pluralization.
clarity and coherence
Try to articulate your main ideas more clearly and directly. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
development and support of ideas
Ensure that all parts of the essay are fully developed and supported with examples or explanations, particularly in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction sets up the discussion effectively, presenting both views and stating your position clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a conclusion that neatly summarizes your overall argument, which aids in providing a sense of closure for the reader.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are addressed, demonstrating your ability to discuss various perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical developmental period
  • foundational skills
  • learning difficulties
  • long-term academic outcomes
  • structured learning environments
  • emotional and social development
  • mental health
  • well-rounded development
  • natural pace of childhood development
  • cognitive and personal growth
  • mature emotionally and socially
  • structured demands
What to do next:
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