IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It
is often argue
Change the verb form
is often argued
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 that additional economic
development
Use synonyms
 in wealthy countries does not necessarily contribute
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
happiness
Use synonyms
 of their citizen.
While
Linking Words
 economic growth can
provied
Correct your spelling
provide
 certain benefits ,
i
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I
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largly
Correct your spelling
largely
 agree that beyond certain levels , it does not enhance
overall
Linking Words
happiness
Use synonyms
. On the one hand ,
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 who live in
afflunt
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affluent
 countries
wheraas
Correct your spelling
whereas
where
 food, healthcare and
accoumidation
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accommodation
therefore
Linking Words
, they
are focus
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are focused
are focusing
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 on materialistic things rather than
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
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economics
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 which may not lead to satisfaction .
For instance
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 ,
people
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for people
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 with everything available to them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical
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economic
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development
Use synonyms
 does not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 them
however
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, may lead to stress ,
Additionally
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 was never about money
whereas
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 more about relationships ,health ,
work-life
Correct word choice
and work-life
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 balance rather than material wealth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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develpoment
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development
 could fund better healthcare , education and infrastructure which
eventally
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eventually
, lead to
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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happiness
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , more
econimical
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economical
economic
development
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 will
helps
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help
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 poor people and reduce the numbers of poverty people which create
fairer
Correct article usage
a fairer
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socity
Correct your spelling
society
. In conclusion ,
while
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
economical
Replace the word
economic
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development
Use synonyms
 may offer some benefit , it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mostly
fail
Correct subject-verb agreement
fails
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 to significantly enhance
happiness
Use synonyms
 in
alredy
Correct your spelling
already
 wealthy countries
due to
Linking Words
limited
Correct article usage
the limited
show examples
 role of
materialistc
Correct your spelling
material
 wealth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
 ,more money will improve public services and reduce inequality.

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language
Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Be careful with spelling and word forms. For example, 'argue' should be 'argued' and 'the happiness' instead of 'the happines'.
task response
Develop each idea more fully to provide more complete response. Try to explain and expand on every main point, providing clear examples to support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph structure to enhance logical flow. Clearly distinguish between separate ideas and support each with evidence and examples.
task response
You have a clear understanding of the task and the topic. Your essay effectively addresses the question asked.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a good introduction and conclusion which help in linking your ideas.
language
There is evidence of some good vocabulary usage related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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