IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The diagram below information on transport and car use in Edmonton, summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.

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The figure below shows what transport that
people
Use synonyms
 use and the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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car
Use synonyms
using
Replace the word
use
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 in Edmonton.
Overall
Linking Words
, The most common vehicles that residents in Edmonton use
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 private
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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while
Linking Words
 the fewest ones are
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 at the same proportion. Most
people
Use synonyms
 use
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
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 for commuting to work, doing business, and taking children to school respectively.
It is clear that
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 used cars the most accounting
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
total
Add an article
the total
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 population.
While
Linking Words
 the metro was the second
alternatives
Fix the agreement mistake
alternative
show examples
 for transportation at 35 per
cent
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. And the most popular
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 a
car
Use synonyms
 is reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their workplaces at 55 per
cent
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in contrast
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping and and leisure activities
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 were the fewest number at 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 equally.  Transporting by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bus and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taxi got the least popularity at 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 equally. Taking their kid to campus and doing
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
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 accounted for 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively for using
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 as
vehicle
Correct article usage
a vehicle
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Start with a broader introduction to the topic before diving into specific details. This can help frame the response better for the reader.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is clearly introduced and justified with relevant data from the diagram.
task achievement
Aim to conclude your findings with a brief summary to reinforce the key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas or phrases, such as 'equally' for both Shopping and Leisure. Instead, use synonyms to enhance vocabulary.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies and compares the key methods of transportation used in Edmonton, focusing on private cars, metro, buses, and taxis.
task achievement
Main reasons for car use such as commuting, business, and school runs are appropriately mentioned with relevant details and percentages.
coherence cohesion
The essay compares the relative popularity of transport methods using percentages which demonstrates a good attempt at data interpretation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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