IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.

The diagram below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.
#information #transport #car #edmonton #feature #comparison
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The figure below shows what transport that
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and the reason for
car
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in Edmonton.
Overall
Linking Words
, The most common vehicles that residents in Edmonton
use
Use synonyms
 are private cars
while
Linking Words
 the fewest ones are buses and taxis at the same proportion. Most
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 the
car
Use synonyms
 for commuting to work, doing business, and taking children to school respectively.
It is clear that
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 used cars the most accounting for 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of the total population.
While
Linking Words
 the metro was the second alternative for transportation at 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
. And the most popular reason why
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 a
car
Use synonyms
 is reaching their workplaces at 55 per
cent
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 to shopping and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
leisure activities which were the fewest number at 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 equally. Transporting by bus and taxi got the least popularity at 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 equally. Taking their kid to campus and doing business accounted for 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively for using a
car
Use synonyms
 as a vehicle.
Submitted by amittawin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, use, car, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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