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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts suggested that cyclists should have to pass a exam before riding on cycle for road safety. To what extended do you agree or disagree?

Regarding the issue of road safety,
people
Use synonyms
 hold diverse opinions. A number of
people
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 advocate that
people
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 should pass a cycling
test
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 before riding
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a bike,
while
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 others disagree,
believeing
Correct your spelling
believing
 that it is not a
practicle
Correct your spelling
practical
 and
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
 way to enhance road safety. I believe the latter statement is valid and I will explain with the following reasons in
this
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 essay. First and foremost, the requirement of passing a cycling exam would discourage
people
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to ride
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from riding
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bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
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.
According to
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 a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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done by Califonia University in 2023, one-third of residents use
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 as the main transportation to commute to
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
 or schools because of monetary or environmental reasons. It is undeniable
to say
Verb problem
that
show examples
 if
people
Use synonyms
 were requested to pass a cycling
test
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 and gain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 licence,
this
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 would reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
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travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
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 to places by bike predictably. Since it is troublesome for some
people
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 to conduct a cycling assessment, some
people
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 may kick the habit of cycling.
Consequently
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, requiring
people
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 to complete the cycling
test
Use synonyms
 brings a significant drawback to society which leads to a decrease in the positive environmental effects associated with cycling.
Furthermore
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, establishing
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 for cyclists is
defintely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 not a feasible decision
as
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due to
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of resources to support the implementation.
For example
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, the authorities have to discuss and decide
the
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on the
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 detailed content of
cycling
Correct article usage
the cycling
show examples
test
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. After that, the executive has to allocate resources to employ professional staff to be the
examiner
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examiners
show examples
 to evaluate the cycling skills of the candidate.
Moreover
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, labour
are
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is
show examples
 employed to make
record
Fix the agreement mistake
records
show examples
 and deliver
credential
Fix the agreement mistake
credentials
show examples
 to the qualified cyclists, and
thus
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 an enormous financial burden is caused by employing many more
people
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 which leads to
ineffecient useage
Correct your spelling
inefficient use
 of
financial
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the financial
show examples
 budget.
To conclude
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, cycling
test
Use synonyms
 offers significant advantages but
also
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 presents some challenges. In the future, with the development of cycling infrastructure, I believe the issue of road safety will be better addressed.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the clarity and flow of your ideas. Some transitions between points feel abrupt or are not logically followed through.
task achievement
Aim to provide a more comprehensive response by exploring a wider range of perspectives or additional examples regarding the requirement of cycling tests.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument with detailed examples or further analysis, as some points are a bit underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which summarizes your position well.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as the survey from California University, to support your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Road safety
  • Compliance
  • Cycling etiquette
  • Safety measures
  • Mandatory testing
  • Implementation challenges
  • Public resistance
  • Environmental impact
  • Health benefits
  • Cycling infrastructure
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Voluntary workshops
  • Regulations
  • Proponents
  • Opponents
  • Traffic rules
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