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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#risks #lives
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At the point of facing new circumstances, people have to decide the appropriate
action
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.
However
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,
this
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 might be sometimes risky. Taking
risks
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 can promote one’s
life
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 or may ruin everything and put them in
a
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apply
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trouble. I think taking
risks
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 is not a necessary
action
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 in our lives and
although
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 it may have some good results, its negative points outweigh any positives
in
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on
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 a larger scale. In
this
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 essay, I will propose some of these disadvantages and try to draw a conclusion. Generally, some blind actions
through
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in
show examples
 one’s
life
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,
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apply
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 can turn his or her
life
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to
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into
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 a real disaster.
For example
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, a person’s decision
on selling
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to sell
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 his current house to buy a new apartment during inflation will be a
high
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high-risk
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risk
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action
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 because after selling the house, the apartment price might increase rapidly and the person become homeless. Another risky
action
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that is
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 popular among the young generation, is gambling. They
risk
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 their money to hopefully increase it over a short period. But unfortunately, they lose it all and become bankrupt in many cases. on
this
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ocasion
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occasion
, they may even lose their car and house to pay their bills.
Nonetheless
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, they continue to gamble with the wish of changing the situation but they lose again and their situation
become
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becomes
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 much worse.
On the other hand
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, some
risks
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 can make one’s
life
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 better. If someone measures all of the aspects before taking
action
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, he will decide more
effiecient
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efficient
efficiently
 and with a minimum
risk
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.
For example
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, an employee
take
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takes
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 the
risk
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 of
quiting
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quitting
quoting
 his job after analysing his next career.
Although
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 there is always a chance of
fail
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failure
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,
this
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risk
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 may promote his
life
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 as the new job might provide a better income.
To sum up
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, taking
risks
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 is a part of every individual’s
life
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 and it may be rewarding or even
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life threatening
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life-threatening
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.In the majority of cases, the cons of becoming homeless and bankrupt outweigh the
pro
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pros
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 of finding a better job. In my opinion, we should find some
risk
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-free ways to avoid
such
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 complications.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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task achievement
Although the essay addresses the topic, it could further delve into the benefits of taking risks to present a more balanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the transition between paragraphs to enhance coherence and provide a clearer logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure there is a consistent focus on the essay's stance throughout the discussion, particularly balancing pros and cons more evenly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides focus and wraps up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as in gambling and real estate, are specific and relevant to the argument being made.
task achievement
The essay attempts to balance the discussion by acknowledging the positive aspects of risk-taking, showing some depth in argumentation.
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