In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
When
commiting
a criminal offence the criminals are Correct your spelling
committing
sentanced
to Correct your spelling
sentenced
serving
time in correctional Wrong verb form
serve
fasilities
. Correct your spelling
facilities
This
is Linking Words
due to
poor education and some Linking Words
people
are of the opinion that if these Use synonyms
citisens recieve
proper schooling they would know better Correct your spelling
citizens receive
Linking Words
then
to resort to Correct your spelling
than
crime
. I agree with Use synonyms
this
statement, our educational background Linking Words
do
not Change the verb form
does
install
ethical upbringing as it should and will discuss it Correct your spelling
instil
indeph
Correct your spelling
in depth
further
.
The Linking Words
majoraty
of the population Correct your spelling
majority
agree
that criminals need to serve a Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
sertain
amount of time in prison and be removed from society in order to be punished for their crimes. If a person has not Correct your spelling
certain
obided
by the rules of society they need to know there are Correct your spelling
abided
abide
conceciouses
for their actions by removing their right to free will. Correct your spelling
consequences
People
Use synonyms
that
steal or take an Correct pronoun usage
who
inocent
life are Correct your spelling
innocent
people
Use synonyms
that
can be trusted to walk Correct pronoun usage
who
freeling
Correct your spelling
free
amoung
law abiding individuals. These Correct your spelling
among
people
need to be punished and learn what they did is wrong Use synonyms
therefore
, they Linking Words
are send
to prison to be held accountable for their crimes. Change the verb form
are sent
However
, some inmates that are released after they served their time Linking Words
repeate
crimes over and over again and Correct your spelling
repeated
repeat
that is
why it is important to educate.
A great Linking Words
persentage
of criminals did not have a proper education where they Correct your spelling
percentage
where
taught ethical values and how to be a Correct your spelling
were
well rounded
Add a hyphen
well-rounded
individual
. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Educations
is tremeniously important in a Fix the agreement mistake
Education
persons
Change noun form
person's
live
without knowledge you can fall into the wrong hands and become a criminal selling drugs for a living thinking it is the only way to make money. Replace the word
life
Linking Words
Also
many Add a comma
Also,
people
in Use synonyms
the
African countries have Correct article usage
apply
inproper rolemodels
that Correct your spelling
improper role models
where
not educated Correct your spelling
were
aswell
, they look up to these Correct your spelling
as well
people
that steal and commit Use synonyms
Use synonyms
crime
for a living. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
While
in school if they had a teacher Linking Words
that
helped these children they could Correct pronoun usage
who
gide
them to become Correct your spelling
guide
give
people
Use synonyms
that
aspire Correct pronoun usage
who
for
more than just a Change preposition
to
live
of Replace the word
life
crime
.
In conclusion, I agree Use synonyms
people
that Use synonyms
commit
a Correct pronoun usage
who commit
crime
need to be punished Use synonyms
however
, schools need to implement Linking Words
statagies
that teach children proper ethics and morals. All Correct your spelling
strategies
people
need to be educated and many individuals need Use synonyms
gidence
.Correct your spelling
guidance
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task achievement
Consider elaborating on examples to explain your points comprehensively, such as providing real-life instances where education has successfully deterred crime.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly with clear links between ideas. This can help strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately by exploring both the role of punishment and the potential preventative solution of education.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, fostering logical flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.