The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the numer of new shops that opened in one coutry between 2011 and 2018.

#shops #numer #coutry

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The provided line chart illustrates the several

shops

Use synonyms

that closed and the number of new open

shops

Use synonyms

in one country from 2011 through 2018

Overall

Linking Words

, in 2011 held the largest Closures of 8500

shops

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

Openings

shops

Use synonyms

were around 6300.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

at the end

Linking Words

of the graph in 2018 Opening

shops

Use synonyms

are more in 5100, Compared to the Closure

shops

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are lower in 3000 places.

According to

Linking Words

the

chart

Add a comma

chart,

show examples

the Closure

shops

Use synonyms

were fluctuating

Wrong verb form

fluctuated

show examples

around the years 2014 to 2016

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

reached

Wrong verb form

reaching

show examples

the peak paramount lowest number only 500 and

come

Wrong verb form

coming

show examples

back to 5100 in 2016 and slightly the same trend through 2018. From the detail of

this

Linking Words

chart, Opening

shops

Use synonyms

are highly downward trend in 2012 in 4000

shops

Use synonyms

. Meanwhile

climb

Wrong verb form

climbed

show examples

up to 6000 in only 2 years,

then

Linking Words

slightly downward to 4000 and 3000 in 2015 and 2018 respectively.

Submitted by amittawin on Sat Jan 25 2025

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

141 words

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The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the numer of new shops that opened in one coutry between 2011 and 2018.

A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only large companies and goverments can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?