IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some argue that schools should prioritise life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#argue #schools #prioritise #life #skills #teams #academics
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At the current time, it is mentioned that schools should prioritise
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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 like collaborating and
problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
skills
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 rather than traditional
academics
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. I partially agree with
this
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 idea because both offer benefits
such
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 as preparation for real-world challenges and
foundation
Correct article usage
a foundation
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 for advanced knowledge.
To begin
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 with, schools should prioritise
real
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real-life
show examples
life
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skills
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instead
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 of just preparing
students
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 for academic stuff.
This
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 is because traditional
academics
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 always focus on teaching subjects
such
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 as math, history and literature, making pupils feel bored because of repetition
for
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in
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 teaching style and themes.
Instead
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, teaching practical
skills
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such
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 as cooperating and
problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
 is vital for
students
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.
As learning
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Learning
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 these
skills
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 might be necessary in the
future
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, helping them to get used to adulthood easily and quickly.
For example
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, in 2020, in the USA,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of pupils who learned
the
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apply
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problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
 and cooperating
skills
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, won
the
Correct article usage
a
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 competition called ,We can do it together
, .
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,
.
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 So, learning these types of
skills
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 is very important for
students
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.
However
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, traditional
academics
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 are
also
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 quite important in real
life
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.
This
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 is because learning subjects like mathematics, science and languages can provide
students
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 with advanced knowledge in their
future
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 careers and
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. When they master
this
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 knowledge deeply, it can enable them to get a well-paid job in the
future
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.
As when
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When
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 they become an expert in these specific areas,
for example
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,they can teach
students
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 in universities without any hesitations and disruptions. By doing so, they may achieve better
life
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 standards in the
future
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, making themselves feel calm about their lives. In conclusion, the way
which
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in which
show examples
 traditional
academics
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 teach is very important,
while
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, it might be better if
students
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 are taught practical
skills
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 as well.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or clearer explanations to support your points. For instance, include more detailed evidence or studies showing the impact of life skills on students' future success.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas could be linked more effectively with transitional phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. Consider using more linking words to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced viewpoint, acknowledging the importance of both life skills and traditional academics.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out the main argument and the conclusion effectively summarises the key points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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