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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.
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The graph illustrates the expenditure on books in four different countries between the years 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, all four European nations were on an increasing trend, with Germany remaining the top spender throughout the years. Austria used to have the least amount of money spent in 1995,
however
Linking Words
, the number started to rise from 2001 onwards.
To begin
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,
while
Linking Words
 always has the highest amount of
expense
Replace the word
expenditure
show examples
 on books, Germany
also
Linking Words
 had an increase in spending from 80
million
Use synonyms
 to nearly 100
million
Use synonyms
 US
dollars
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. Meanwhile, France, the second highest,
also
Linking Words
 had a gradual rise from approximately 55
million
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 to slightly more than 70
million
Use synonyms
 US
dollars
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Austrian people had the most changes in purchasing books.
Although
Linking Words
 they had a slow growth at
first,
Linking Words
in 2001, there was a rapid change from 40
million
Use synonyms
 to around 70
million
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 US
dollars
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, which exceeded the Italian.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Italy has the slowest growth among these countries, from 50 to 60
million
Use synonyms
 US
dollars
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • expenditure
  • fluctuations
  • economic factors
  • population changes
  • cultural shifts
  • spending patterns
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • projection
  • implications
  • data reliability
  • comparative analysis
  • highest/lowest expenditure
  • investments in literature
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
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