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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who attend different events and courses
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart shows the average
age
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the first graph , women had more applicants than comparing with men
while
Linking Words
 in the second , elderly
people
Use synonyms
 preferred the
course
Use synonyms
 more than other ages . Focusing on line graph
first,
Linking Words
Sculpture was a favourite activity of
course
Use synonyms
, with 10% of men giving it a positive rant.
However
Linking Words
, For women Language was the most popular
course
Use synonyms
 at 40%, just ahead of her painting , at 30% .
Additionally
Linking Words
, Drama was composed of 20% applied to women as opposed as being twice as popular as sculpture of men, with 10% Moving to the bar chart , it could be seen that just over 50
age
Use synonyms
 comprised half of the
course
Use synonyms
 compared with 40-49
age
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 between 30 and 39
age
Use synonyms
 made up 16% slightly more than those 20-29
age
Use synonyms
 who attended courses 16%. Next came the aged under 20 which was the least in
this
Linking Words
 category with 5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, course with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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