Many people believe that hierarchy developed on basis of cast followed since thousand of years is the right way to run the society. Up to what extent do you agree?

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A lot of group of

people

Use synonyms

think

hierarchy

Use synonyms

old

Add an article

an old

show examples

system

Use synonyms

, and

that is

Linking Words

so useful

strategies

Fix the agreement mistake

strategy

show examples

for

control

Wrong verb form

controlling

show examples

to public. I strongly disagree

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

it.

This

Linking Words

essay includes my opinions. First and foremost, the biggest problem of

hierarchy

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the "caous

show examples

caous

Correct your spelling

cause

atmosphere", because of

class'

Change noun form

class

show examples

differences.

this

Linking Words

system

Use synonyms

poses to huge gap between

people

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

that is

Linking Words

seperating to population.

For example

Linking Words

, İndia has a

hierarchy

Use synonyms

system

Use synonyms

, before the democracy.

Morevover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, that

system

Use synonyms

was damaging to social connections.

Initally

Correct your spelling

Initially

, the rich side can buy cars or houses.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

poors

Correct your spelling

poor

have not enough money

for

Change preposition

show examples

buy essential goods

such

Linking Words

as food and water.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

method is not working for citizens.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

technique

Change the verb form

also causes

show examples

also

Linking Words

causes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crimes since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

one group is so wealthy but other's lives are terrible.

For instance

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

can't gain

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

salary like a rich person, they decide to

stole

Change the verb

steal

show examples

some valuable

neckless

Correct your spelling

necklace

show examples

or jewellery.

Hence

Linking Words

a lot of murder and

thief

Correct your spelling

theft

show examples

cases happen

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

hierarchy

Use synonyms

has

Verb problem

does

show examples

not any benefits.

In contrast

Linking Words

, it has a lot of harm

for

Change preposition

show examples

crowd

Add an article

the crowd

a crowd

show examples

. In conclusion,

hierarchy

Use synonyms

is not

logical

Add an article

a logical

show examples

alternative for

manage

Wrong verb form

managing

show examples

to public because it is

seperating

Correct your spelling

separating

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

and posing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime.

türkoğluahmetonurSun Jan 26 2025

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coherence cohesion

Your essay needs better structure. Consider organizing your main points into separate paragraphs for a clearer argument.

task achievement

Try to use more specific examples to support your points. This would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and finish to your essay.

task achievement

You identified key issues with hierarchy, such as class differences and crime, which are relevant to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

206 words

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Many people believe that hierarchy developed on basis of cast followed since thousand of years is the right way to run the society. Up to what extent do you agree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to your supervisor regarding a course you attended as a part of your job. Write - The purpose of your letter - Say how the course was useful to you - What are your suggestions regarding the course

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Car owership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam'

Space travel has been possibile for some time, and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?