IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how rainwater is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram provides key
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about the process of collecting the
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 to using it to drink in one nation (Australia).
Overall
Linking Words
 , it is clear from the graph that the process includes about 7 stages, starting from
colecting
Correct your spelling
collecting
selecting
 the rainwater and
ends
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 with producing clean drinking
water
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
firstly
Linking Words
 they
colect
Correct your spelling
collect
 the
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 goes to a
water
Use synonyms
 filter, after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 they put all of the clean
water
Use synonyms
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big storage. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 goes throw a
thin
Correct word choice
small thin
show examples
 and small tube to
onther
Correct your spelling
another
 storage for the treatment process. There is a small room to
saprait
Correct your spelling
spray
 the chemicals from the
water
Use synonyms
. And
then
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 goes the houses throw a
water
Use synonyms
 tape and it's
finally
Linking Words
 ready to use.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: