IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

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There is no denying the fact that the price of
ticket
Add an article
the ticket
a ticket
show examples
 is a controversial matter to be
disscused
Correct your spelling
discussed
.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that purchasing a significant amount of money on various types of
Use synonyms
events'
Change noun form
events
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 tickets
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 common among people, there is
also
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 an argument
opposes
Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
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 it.
This
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 essay will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both
pooints
Correct your spelling
points
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 and express my opinion. On the one hand, spending
this
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 amount of money is considered
a
Correct article usage
apply
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beneficial for the development of the entertainment sector. To elaborate, by increasing the
tickets
Change the noun form
ticket
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 price
of
Change preposition
for
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thses
Correct your spelling
these
 kinds of
events
Use synonyms
, the quality of the event's facilities
such
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 as its mainterance and the
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 will
increased
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be increased
increase
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 which could attract more
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 and that will refresh the economy of the country. For
inctance
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instance
, countries are eager to host global
events
Use synonyms
such
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 as
olampics
Correct your spelling
Olympics
Olympic
 or
world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
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 games because they know
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 selling these
events
Use synonyms
' tickets will
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
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 their economy.

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task achievement
Try to address all aspects of the prompt more thoroughly by discussing whether spending a lot of money on tickets to events is a positive or negative development, rather than just introducing the topic.
task achievement
Work on strengthening the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. For instance, explain how spending money benefits individuals or society more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your arguments by creating clearer links between your points and ideas.
task achievement
Strengthen the support for your main points with more specific examples and details. For example, you might elaborate on how ticket sales directly contribute to economic growth with quantitative data or anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for the essay by presenting the issue of ticket pricing as a discussion point and summarizes the competing views.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured to plan for discussing both sides of the argument before presenting an opinion, showing a planned articulation.
task achievement
The essay identifies spending money on tickets as economically beneficial, highlighting an important aspect of the issue, which is a good point of discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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