IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

People sleep less than they used to in the past what do you think is the reason behind this what are the effects on them

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People nowadays are struggling with not enough
sleeping
Replace the word
sleep
show examples
however
Linking Words
, it
have so
Wrong verb form
has a significant
show examples
 difference from
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 .All are
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 hard and
interacted
Replace the word
interaction
show examples
 of hard
work
Use synonyms
 with sleep that have effects on your
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 which makes you exhausted. Competitive modern jobs need more endures
whereas
Linking Words
, everyone
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 hard to establish themselves
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world . Because of
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 they cut their sleep to have more time to improve
skills
Correct pronoun usage
their skills
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
show examples
, achieve their goals .But everything has been easier in the past generations .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 today being
influencer
Add an article
an influencer
show examples
 is the most common job which
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 full-time
work
Use synonyms
 so, they are always
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and tired. Absolutely lack of sleep
get
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 your energy
Change preposition
to fatigues
show examples
fatigues
Fix the agreement mistake
fatigue
show examples
after
Correct word choice
and
show examples
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
force
Fix the agreement mistake
forces
show examples
 you to be depressed and all of them
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your endurance .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 evidence
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 people will get angry issues and mostly depressed because of lack of sleep. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 if you feel sad and not interested in your life probably because of your lack of sleep which
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from working hard and Non-Stop

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coherence cohesion
Work on strengthening your logical structure by organizing ideas into clear paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph presents a single main idea supported by evidence and examples.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed and specific examples. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and bolster your task response.
task achievement
Improve your language accuracy to enhance comprehension. Pay attention to sentence construction and grammar. Consider revising phrases like 'interacted of hard work with sleep' for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will help readers follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
You've successfully identified work demands as a primary reason for reduced sleep and linked it to exhaustion and emotional effects.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion present key points effectively, providing a clear overview of your essay.
task achievement
The essay reflects an understanding of the broad implications of modern work life on sleep habits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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