IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree?

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In today's past years world,the traditonal a five day working during the week has become outdated,many individuals argue that reducing the number of working
days
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 and extending the weekends would bring numerous affairs,both for
employees
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 and employers,I firmly agree with
this
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 view and I will elaborate completely in following paragraphs. First and foremost,a shortage workweek can significantly enhance the productivity in companies , based on a recent resarch which has been conducted and reported by an organization named UFG that
employees
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 who work less
days
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 during the week have more efficiency,focus,creativity at the work,
for instance
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 :Google in USA decalred and ask workers to do their tasks in four
days
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 insted of five
days
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 and observed a notable increase of 30% in productivity.
Thus
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 ,it is shown and illustrated that working for long
hours
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 not necesserily causes more effective and productive,
besides
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,workers have become less efficient,
therefore
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,it leads to tiredness and fatigue.
Moreover
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,prolonging the resting
hours
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 will grately enhance the life-work balance,folks tend to spend more time with family,pursue personal intersts,addintionally,longer weekends allow individuals to have more rest,relax and improve their mental and physical well being that can be led to job satisfication and less stress. Desipte
this
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 issues,some organizations have to work for long
hours
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 including :health care and emergancy servises,some industries,manufacturers that they require continuous performances,
hence
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,a shortage of working
hours
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 can cause them to face with some challenging.
Consequently
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, managers should recruit more labours in order to let their
employees
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 have more time to rest. In conclusion :reducing workinghours and increasing holidays bring both
employees
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 and employers profit.
As a result
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 the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.it is evident that
this
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 matter can result in raising in health care,productivity,control life-work and so on.If companies expand and provide more free time it will bring them more benfits .

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Grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve clarity and precision in your writing.
Structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details to strengthen your arguments.
Examples
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments, as this will increase the effectiveness of your essay.
Position
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout the response.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively framing the discussion.
Relevance
The argument relating to productivity and work-life balance is relevant and contributes meaningfully to the essay's position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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