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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in the US from 1983 to 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in the US from 1983 to 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart shows the change in the amount of energy
producing
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States in the year 1983 to 2003 .
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that, the oil was close in
Use synonyms
bothe
Correct your spelling
both
 years, and hydropower was exactly the same in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
bothe
Correct your spelling
both
 times .
According to
Linking Words
 what is
presents
Fix the agreement mistake
present
show examples
, in both
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1983 and 2003 hydropower was the same, it was at 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
 . The oil in 1983 was at 42 per
cent
Use synonyms
withe
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 only 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 from 2003 . In 2003 nuclear power
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 24 per
cent
Use synonyms
 higher than
1983
Change preposition
in 1983
show examples
withe
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 about 4 per
cent
Use synonyms
 . There was a big
diffrent
Correct your spelling
difference
 in
Use synonyms
bothe
Correct your spelling
both
 of natural gas and coal in
Use synonyms
bothe
Correct your spelling
both
 of the years . The coal in 1983 was 23
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
, and it was 13 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2003 .
The natural
Correct article usage
Natural
show examples
 gas was 11 in 1983, and it was 21 in 2003
withe
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 a
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 about 10
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bothe, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy production
  • proportions
  • significance
  • notable increases
  • decreases
  • consistencies
  • emphasize
  • analyze
  • highlight
  • trends
  • emerging patterns
  • shifts
  • decline
  • rise
  • percentage
  • renewable sources
  • non-renewable sources
  • comparative analysis
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