IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species , for example the tiger or the blue whale .To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Despite the high costs and difficulty of saving endangered animals , scientists from all around the world tend to support the idea of conserving as
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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 species as we can . In my opinion , keeping a
big
Correct word choice
wide
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 variety of strains will help us improve the scientific research and the state of our planet .Different breeds of tigers are close to extinction because of poaching , even though they can still be studied and analysed .
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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blue whales are
also
Linking Words
 killed
for making
Change preposition
to make
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profit
Add an article
a profit
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 , in spite of their huge role in the global food chain .
Although
Linking Words
 we know many breeds across the ecosystems from the family of tigers , they are an endangered species , as they are seen as a profitable business by the poachers , who kill more and more wild animals every year . With the help of governments , investors and private associations the tigers left can be saved ,
Linking Words
this
Correct your spelling
thus
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 leading to maintaining the ecosystem where they belong and continuing the
researching
Replace the word
research
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 of felines from
alive
Correct your spelling
live
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 samples.
For example
Linking Words
 , across the 2021 and 2021 years , the poaching of
tires
Change the spelling
tyres
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 raised from 39 to 56 , which is
an
Correct article usage
apply
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almost +45% , based on
the
Correct article usage
a
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 study from
International
Correct article usage
the International
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 Fund for Animal Welfare. Blue whales are another example of killing a species for profit purposes ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 they have a very important job
on
Change preposition
in
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 the ecosystem where they belong , supporting the rise of phytoplankton .These plant-like organisms absorb a vast amount of CO2 , and the blue whales’s food chain stimulates the growth of phytoplankton and eventually , helps us , people , fight
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming . At the same time , they are poached in huge amounts for their rich
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
omega 3
Add a hyphen
omega-3
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 bodies ,
Correct your spelling
According
show examples
accordingly
Linking Words
 to some studies , more than 340 thousand blue whales were killed in the first half of the 20th century . In conclusion , saving the breeds which are on the edge of extinction may seem
a
Change preposition
like a
show examples
waste of money , but with a closer look , it is without a doubt an investment in living a better life in the future on our planet .

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coherence cohesion
Try to use more connectors and linking words to enhance the flow between ideas, which will improve the overall clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure all examples are supported with references or evidence, as some figures you stated could use a citation for credibility.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your work for typing errors, such as incorrect years or repeated phrases, to enhance professionalism and readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, with a balanced introduction, body, and conclusion, which strengthens the argument presented.
task achievement
You have successfully included relevant and specific examples to support your main points, particularly when discussing poaching impacts and ecological roles.
task achievement
The arguments presented are clear and directly address the task prompt, showing a good understanding of the topic and delivering a complete response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
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