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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the recycling process of wasted glass bottles. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of wasted glass bottles. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The illustration below shows how to recycle waste
glass
Use synonyms
 bottles.
In addition
Linking Words
, it presents about three steps to recycling a
product
Use synonyms
 from waste bottles or
glass
Use synonyms
 to a new
bottle
Use synonyms
 and
glass
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
product
Use synonyms
 can be reduced.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the new
product
Use synonyms
 will be sold in the supermarket. The first
stage
Use synonyms
 of the recycling process is the waste
bottle
Use synonyms
 and
glass
Use synonyms
. It will be collected at the collection point. In the next phase, it will be contained by the truck.
Then
Linking Words
 it is in the process of transportation. In the second
stage
Use synonyms
. It will have a high temperature of water rain to
bottle
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 the color will be clear green and brown. For the next step, It will be in the
glass
Use synonyms
 factory to cut them off. It would be like a piece of
glass
Use synonyms
. In the
last
Linking Words
 phase of the second
stage
Use synonyms
. The piece of
glass
Use synonyms
 will be in the high-temperature process established at 600 to 800 Celsius.
As a result
Linking Words
, it would be a liquid
glass
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 ready to shape.
The next step is
Linking Words
 in the third
stage
Use synonyms
 the
bottle
Use synonyms
 would be reused and sold
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 supermarkets. All of the processes have a
stage
Use synonyms
. On one
stage
Use synonyms
 just contain it to the factory. In subsequent stages, the
stage
Use synonyms
 of the
glass
Use synonyms
 or
bottle
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 shaped it. The
last
Linking Words
 step is to send it to supermarkets as a reused
product
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as a result, last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words glass, product, bottle, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Recycling process
  • Glass bottles
  • Collected
  • Sorting
  • Colour
  • Washing
  • Impurities
  • Residues
  • Crushing
  • Cullets
  • Melting
  • Furnace
  • Molten glass
  • Molding
  • Shaping and forming processes
  • Cooling and solidifying
  • Inspection
  • Distribution
  • Retailers
  • Manufacturers
  • Reuse
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