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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports with four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports with four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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he
Correct your spelling
The
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 line graph illustrates the proportions of Australian
experts
Use synonyms
 in four
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 countries (Japan,
US
Correct article usage
the US
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,China,
India
Use synonyms
) for
Correct article usage
the beriod
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beriod
Correct your spelling
period
periods
 between 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, Japan and China were
the
Change preposition
in the
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 most need
for
Change preposition
of
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 the
experts
Use synonyms
 ,
While
Linking Words
India
Use synonyms
 and The
Unites
Replace the word
United
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States
Change noun form
States'
show examples
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
keep
Verb problem
apply
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fluctuated during
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the given
period
Use synonyms
 . At the onset , the numbers of Australian
exoerts
Correct your spelling
experts
 in Japan were almost 27% in 1990
then
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
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 sharply in 1995
with
Change preposition
to
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 20% .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , the
percentage
Use synonyms
 keep decreasing during
tthe
Correct your spelling
the
period
Use synonyms
 between 2000
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2012 to reach
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 lowest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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with
Change preposition
at
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 15%. China
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
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 the other hand ,
recored
Correct your spelling
recorded
 3%
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 for
experts
Use synonyms
 in 1990 ,
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
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 increasing
ti
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to
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 become the highest country with 28% in 2012. The United States and
India
Use synonyms
 recorded the lowest number of professional needs. The US proportions
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 for the
period
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2000
however
Linking Words
 , the
percentage
Use synonyms
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 to 6% in 2012 after it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
12% in 1990.
While
Linking Words
India
Use synonyms
 showed a steady
percentage
Use synonyms
 for the
period
Use synonyms
 1990 to 2000 at 3%
then
Linking Words
 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
incrased
Correct your spelling
increased
 over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2000 to 2010 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak of 7% in 2010 .
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 decreased to become the least country
needs
Correct pronoun usage
that needs
show examples
 Australian
experts
Use synonyms
 .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words experts, india, percentage, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • percentages
  • exports
  • trend
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • fluctuations
  • stable
  • economic ties
  • demand
  • decline
  • recovery
  • policy changes
  • trade relationship
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • temporary surge
  • specific events
  • incentives
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