IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, many people rely on the internet to diagnose and cure their own health problems instead of seeing a doctor. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

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People
Use synonyms
 have the
internet
Use synonyms
 in their hands, for that
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 easier to reach for certain
information
Use synonyms
, that
dosent
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 mine its always necessary true
information
Use synonyms
.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
 true that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 faster and economical to search
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 in the hands of
every body
Correct your spelling
everybody
show examples
, so you can reach for
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
 in seconds.
No body
Correct your spelling
Nobody
show examples
 is gonna charge you for looking
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 for a
medicin
Correct your spelling
medicine
,
too
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 tell
Correct pronoun usage
you you
show examples
you youre
Correct your spelling
you're
Correct article usage
a posible
show examples
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
 illness.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 theres a lot of ways to look for it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
, in artificial
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
, safari,
theres
Correct your spelling
there's
show examples
 a page
call
Wrong verb form
called
show examples
 my doctor,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 are just some examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 you could find the
informacion
Correct your spelling
information
. The negative part of
this
Linking Words
 is that the
information
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 those pages
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not
allways
Correct your spelling
always
 right it could be promotion, lies just to scare
people
Use synonyms
, or
also
Linking Words
 it could be the artificial
inteligentes
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 not knowing the diagnosis. For that
people
Use synonyms
 might have the
ronge
Correct your spelling
wrong
 treatment, the wrong
medicin
Correct your spelling
medicine
, and that could be
dangerou
Correct your spelling
dangerous
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
theres
Correct your spelling
there
there's
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 prepare
theme selfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 to give the right diagnosis and be
profesionales
Correct your spelling
professionals
. I think that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a good tool if you know how to use it, but in the wrong hands that could be really dangerous, the med schools train
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
people
Use synonyms
 to
worke
Correct your spelling
work
 and give treatment, so we should trust the medics, that they know what they are doing, that way med school take a
loots
Correct the article-noun agreement
loot
show examples
 of years to study. I know that not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can afford to go to the clinics but that
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 a fight with the governments, and
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 another story.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try using more linking words or phrases. For example, use "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "On the other hand" to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer separation between arguments. Consider dividing ideas into clear paragraphs and providing topic sentences.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that the essay fully addresses both parts of the question. Provide more detailed examples to illustrate your points.
task achievement
In the task achievement section, using specific statistics or quotes from credible sources can make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic. This sets a good stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
You've recognized the dual nature of the internet's impact on health self-diagnosis, mentioning both positives and negatives. This shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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