Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

experiences
Change the verb form
experience

The singular verb experiences does not appear to agree with the plural subject people. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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alternative
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

medicines in the present. They
beleives
Correct your spelling
believe

If you don’t want beleives to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that it could help them to get over
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in typical ways,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

other individuals believe in the conventional
healthcare
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

system
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In my opinion,
choiced
Correct your spelling
chosen

If you don’t want choiced to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

medicines are
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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negative approach because many of them consist
inappropriate
Change preposition
of inappropriate

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances

It seems that substance may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, which can harm
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in some ways.
An
Correct article usage
Alternative

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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alternative
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

medicine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, becoming
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's choice in the present because many individuals may face a serious
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problem, which has only a few percentage
to
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
recovery.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they might try to find some alternate approach, which will help them to get over their severe
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

difficulties.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade

The word home made seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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medication, which announces their
overestimate
Replace the word
overestimated

The word overestimate doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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effect,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as cancer and heart disease recovery,
containing
Wrong verb form
contains

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb containing. Consider changing it.

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many substances with non-researching
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards

It seems that standard may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can
cause
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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critical
Add an article
the critical
a critical

The noun phrase critical effect seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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effect
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who take it.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
alternative
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

medicine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without effective
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards

It seems that standard may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
might enhance many critical effects
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
system
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as kidney and brain damage.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will increase a lot of workloads for many
healthcare
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

workers.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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will have to diagnose the unnecessary issue, which is
form
Correct your spelling
a

The word form doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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person who
use
Change the verb form
uses

The plural verb use does not appear to agree with the singular subject form person. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the
alternative
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

medicine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages

It seems that the verb damage does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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their own
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
healthcare
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

equpment
Correct your spelling
equipment

If you don’t want equpment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

will lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition of seems unecessary after the verb lack. Consider removing the preposition.

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number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers

It seems that number may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, spreading other difficulties to the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who genuinely need it. In conclusion, I
strongy
Correct your spelling
strongly

If you don’t want strongy to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

supposed
Verb problem
believe

There may be a verb use issue here.

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that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
alternative
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

medicine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
negative development, especially without appropriate
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards

It seems that standard may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because it can be harmful to
individual
Add an article
the individual

The noun phrase individual body system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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body
system
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and probably
decay
Correct subject-verb agreement
decays

It seems that the verb decay does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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many organs
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
kidney
Correct article usage
the kidney

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, brain, and stomach in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term

The word long-term doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, resulting in
increase
Correct article usage
an increase

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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more workloads for
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare

The noun phrase healthcare system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
system
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Language Accuracy
There are few grammatical errors and some language inaccuracies, such as mismatched verb tense and incorrect word choices. For example, 'experiences' should be 'experience' in this context and 'choiced medicines' should be 'chosen medicines'. Consider rereading and editing for language accuracy.
Structure
The essay structure is clear. However, it could be improved by ensuring each paragraph stays focused on one main idea. Avoid combining too many ideas in one paragraph.
Expansion on Ideas
While you have included examples, such as homemade medication claims, specifying more about the substances and their effects could further strengthen the argument.
Cohesion Enhancements
Providing a better link between sentences within paragraphs could improve cohesion. Consider using transitional words and phrases to connect your thoughts better.
Introduction
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, which provides a good foundation for the essay.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively reiterates your key points, supporting your thesis on why alternative medicine is negative.
Example Usage
You have used specific examples, like homemade medication, to support your argument about the dangers of unregulated substances.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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