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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar graph and table depict the proportion of activities of
antropology
Correct your spelling
anthropology
 graduates from one university in six different categories and their
ranges
Use synonyms
 of salary in three types of employment after 5 years working period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of activities of former
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 is full-time
work
Use synonyms
,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by part-time
work
Use synonyms
. The lowest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
percentage is part-time
work
Use synonyms
 by studying
post graduate
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
show examples
 study.
Additionally
Linking Words
, The highest salary range is
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 freelance consultants,
follwed
Correct your spelling
followed
 by
working
Correct pronoun usage
those working
show examples
 in
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 sector, and the lowest income is in private companies but it experiences the average share in every
Use synonyms
ranges
Change to a singular noun
range
show examples
. The most popular path
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 graduates is full-time
work
Use synonyms
, which
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of 52%.
Next,
Linking Words
part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
show examples
 are nearly similar at 15% and 12%. Both of
post graduate
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
show examples
 study and
unknow
Correct your spelling
unknown
show examples
 category are at 8%. The lowest proportion is part-time
work
Use synonyms
 with studying
post graduate
Add a hyphen
post-graduate
show examples
 program
simulteneously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 at 5%. In terms of salary
ranges
Use synonyms
, the highest income range is in freelance
consultant
Fix the agreement mistake
consultants
show examples
 at around over 100,000$ and $75,000 to $99,999, and both of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
ranges
Use synonyms
 account for 40%.
Next,
Linking Words
80% of the worker who
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 in
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 sector
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 more than $75,000,
dividing
Wrong verb form
divided
show examples
 by 30% below $99,999 and 50% of them
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 more than $100,000.
In addition
Linking Words
, private companies provide the average shared for
antrhopology
Correct your spelling
anthropology
 students 10%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between $25,000 and $49,999, 35% in between 50,000 and 74,999, 25% in between 75,000 and 99,999, and 30% in over 100,000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, ".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ranges, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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