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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two given data provide information about the proportion of the direction of
antropology
Correct your spelling
anthropology
 graduate
students
Use synonyms
 and salary ranges over 5 year working period in typical working sectors (freelance consultant, government sector, private business).
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popular path is full-time
work
Use synonyms
, which contains around 52%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
following
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by part-time
work
Use synonyms
 around 15%. Graduated
students
Use synonyms
 around 12% are unemployed. Both full-time
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 and
unknow
Correct your spelling
unknown
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 experience around 8%. The smallest amount of number is
a part-time
Remove the article
part-time work
a part-time job
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 with
simulteneously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 study a
post graduate
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
show examples
 course. Focusing on salaries of graduated
students
Use synonyms
 after 5
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
, the
students
Use synonyms
 who worked in
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 sector obtained the highest wage, and most of them got paid between 75,000 at 30% and more than 100,000 at 50%.
Next,
Linking Words
the graduated
students
Use synonyms
 who were freelance
consultant
Fix the agreement mistake
consultants
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 got
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar range between 75,000 and 100,000 at 40%, respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
categories faced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar proportion around 5% and 15% for the ranges 25,000 to 49,999 and 50,000 to 74,999, respectively.The former
students
Use synonyms
 who decided to
work
Use synonyms
 in private business companies
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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recieved
Correct your spelling
received
average
Correct article usage
an average
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 in all ranges 10% of them obtained 25,000-49,999,
then
Linking Words
 35% of them gained around 50,000 to 74,999, next 25% of them get paid around 75,000 to 99,999, and 30% of them recieved more than 100,000.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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