Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The perspectives on what measures governments should take to deal with
criminals
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vary widely. Some people believe that offenders should be in jail,
whereas
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others consider educating and training
criminals
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to be a more effective solution. As far as I am concerned, I am strongly in
favor
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favour
show examples
of the latter, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. An array of causes may lead to why imprisonment seems rather effective in coping with
criminals
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. First of all, limiting prisoners to jail prevents them from committing any crime, creating a harmonic society where all individuals can live without being concerned about their safety.
Secondly
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, imprisonment serves as an intimidation for people who ever dare to violate the laws.
For example
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, in Singapore, anyone who drives with an excess level of alcohol would be severely punished by the government with a lifetime sentence, so all citizens opt to abide by the regulation strictly and never think of challenging it.
On the other hand
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, education and training can not only lower the crime rate but
also
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increase the productivity of a country.
To begin
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with, if
criminals
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receive long-term moral and legal education, they will eventually realize the harm they do to others, thereby behaving well rather than making similar mistakes again.
Additionally
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, training resources equip
criminals
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with life skills that allow them to earn steady income in the future, boosting the advancement of society. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, providing education and training is much more effective since
this
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policy stops
criminals
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from harming others and helps them maintain their lives.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure even further, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the reasoning is strong, adding clearer transitions would improve cohesion.
task achievement
Further develop the examples provided with more details. While the example of Singapore is effective, elaborating on it or providing additional examples could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Expanding on ideas, especially in the training and education benefits, can provide a clearer and more comprehensive insight into your stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the stage for your arguments and effectively summarizing your stance.
task achievement
Your argument for education and training focuses on both societal benefits and personal reformation, showcasing a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical, with each point well-organized and relevant to the topic, maintaining reader interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrent
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Vocational training
  • Retributive justice
  • Reintegration
  • Taxpayers
  • Social isolation
  • Stigmatization
  • Criminal identity
  • Self-esteem
  • Public opinion
  • Societal gains
  • Offenders
  • Imprisonment
  • Cost-effective
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