Some people think that women should not play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Most nations' armed forces have

women

Use synonyms

and

men

Use synonyms

with different roles. There are certain individuals who think that both genders are meant to serve equally,

while

Linking Words

others believe

women

Use synonyms

are not suited for

this

Linking Words

line of work.

This

Linking Words

essay will

epatiate

Correct your spelling

expatiate

repatriate

on both schools of thought and why I believe that female veterans are capable of serving their countries. The incapability of females working in the police or military force is

due to

Linking Words

two reasons.

First,

Linking Words

build-up

Correct article usage

the build-up

show examples

of their body is weaker than

Use synonyms

men

Change preposition

in men

show examples

. Some believe that

because of

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the high amount of hormones

such

Linking Words

as estrogen present makes them less likely to control their emotions or to be more agile when compared with

men

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the government would have to continue paying pregnant

women

Use synonyms

during their maternity leave,

this

Linking Words

to certain individuals is a waste of resources as they are not on duty during

this

Linking Words

lengthy period.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, critics feel that

women

Use synonyms

are to have the same roles as

men

Use synonyms

because of two reasons. They believe that the amount of work required to be done should not be dependent on gender

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but on ability.

Hence

Linking Words

, a female police officer does not necessarily have to be equal to her male

conterparts

Correct your spelling

counterparts

because she is a woman, but to be assigned

according to

Linking Words

to her merits.

As a result

Linking Words

, she can have a higher or lower title.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development can lead to male

suprimacy

Correct your spelling

supremacy

women

Use synonyms

discrimination. Ensuring that

women

Use synonyms

can only reach a certain level as far as a man has gotten there would cause some

men

Use synonyms

to feel they are better than their wives.

This

Linking Words

could

debunck

Correct your spelling

debunk

all the efforts made to ensure

equal

Add an article

the equal

show examples

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

to all citizens of a nation regardless of gender. In conclusion, both sides of the

arguments

Fix the agreement mistake

argument

show examples

have reasonable points. On balance, I think

women

Use synonyms

are more than able to work in the police or military as I feel that it all boils down to their ability and

upholding

Wrong verb form

uphold

show examples

human rights which outweigh the potential risks of

women

Use synonyms

acting based on hormones or money wastage.

favourade234Tue Jan 28 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Use specific examples or evidence to support points. For instance, providing statistics, case studies, or real-life examples can enhance the credibility and impact of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Consider using more linking words or phrases to strengthen connections between sentences and paragraphs.

introduction conclusion present

A clear introduction and conclusion present, which succinctly address the essay topic and summarize key points.

supported main points

Balanced discussion of both views concerning women's roles in police and military work, demonstrating an understanding of different perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
The technologies of transportation vehicles have been developed to be driverless which will drive people to travel without any human driver anymore. The public has looked for the benefits of this technology, while some others still argue that it will have some disadvantages. I strongly believe that the disadvantage of driverless outweighs the advantages.
6
band
Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Rapid advancement in technology in the modern world expands the possibility to improve the quality of life on Earth in future. While some people support that financial investment in space exploration should be made by governments, I generally disagree with this idea for the following reasons.
4
band
In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?
Few young people perform or attend classical music concerts in certain countries. This is because they follow the modern era, where people tend to listen to modern music. They need to learn and take part in traditional music, so make them appreciate it.
8.5
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has ask for your advice. write a letter to your friednd.in your letter explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
I know that you have decided to join the camping group to spend your summer vacation and you asked my opinion about that. You know that I went camping a couple of times and, to be honest, I should say that it was really enjoyable. But don’t forget to consider some points while choosing the group that you are going with. The one that I joined, had a really supportive leader and she was constantly checking everything from the status of our accommodation to the places that we wanted to go to. Also, she was really sensitive about choosing the people who were joining the team as she believed that good accompanies can make a camping memory memorable or horrible, and I should say that I totally agree with her. Everything was absolutely nice except not having a toilet which was kind of torturing for me as well as sleeping outside that I couldn’t feel safe with. Considering all these points, I still tend to attend another camping as the negative points could not stop me from enjoying the mom...
5
band
Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It argued that homeschooling for the toddlers is the best option in comparison with send them to the kindergarten. In my personal opinion, attending actual kindergarten is the best option for children in their early childhood for two main reasons. First, conventional kindergarten is much more efficient in budget. Then, the needs for socialization which an important factor for youngster mental development only can be fulfilled by attending kindergarten.

Some people think that women should not play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.